That Awkward Moment
by secretauthor12
Summary: That awkward moment where a certain brunette would interview her ex in a live show.
1. Chapter 1

That Awkward Moment

That awkward moment where a certain brunette would interview her ex in a live show.

A/N: Yo! I'm not really in the mood to write at all. But this one just can't get out of my head. So enjoy! I think this story would be 2-shots or 3 at most.

-x-

"Shizuru, you're my savior! Thanks for covering up for me! I just really need to go see Takumi!" Mai practically tackled a certain brunette in a bone-crushing hug, her amethyst eyes shining with tears of joy.

"It's fine Mai, totally. Don't mention it." Shizuru patted her on the shoulder, smiling understandingly.

"No really Shiz! I owe you my life! Thanks for doing this. I would get fired had I not found someone to replace me for that live show. I could almost imagine Reito strangling me for missing this show." Mai internally winced thinking of the black-haired director with his calm demeanor but menacing eyes piercing through her soul. Then, glancing at the taller lady, she asked timidly. "But will you really be okay? I mean, you know, it's a live show and she…"

"Ara. I already told you. I've hosted the show with Nao-san in the past so there is nothing to worry about. I can handle her." Shizuru looked at her meaningfully. "And if I hear one more word from you, I would back out from hosting." She teased earning a horrified look from the busty woman who instantly zipped her lips and nodded her head vigorously. _Now, that's better. _

A knock on the door interrupted the two as their gazes fell on the small but terrible redheaded smirking deviously with her back leaning on the doorframe. She was sporting a blue blazer with a black tube underneath and tight skinny jeans, giving her a glamorous look. Shizuru on the other hand was wearing a simple beige turtleneck and black slacks.

"You sure, you're ready for this?" She cocked her head, her lime green eyes glinting at Shizuru.

_Tch, Really? These people keep on asking if I'm okay, if I'm ready! What the! I've done hosting before and I think I did a good job; no, I think I did a great job! I can always follow Nao's lead. _

Shizuru mentally sighed and nodded her head. "I'm born ready for this."

"Everyone standby on five" A staff announced shortly. Nao and Shizuru exited the dressing room and walked near the side entrance to the stage.

"On air!"

The two hosts walked towards the stage, bright smiles plastered on their beautiful faces.

"Welcome everyone! Welcome to Sunrise!" Nao waved at the audience as she sat on the couch in the middle of the stage. The crowd roared with enthusiastic applauses and cheers.

"Hello! How is everyone doing?" Shizuru also greeted the audience, almost swooning half of them with her bewitching smile. She also sat beside her co-host, waving generously at them.

Nao and Mai had been the main hosts for the morning show called Sunrise and Shizuru was a special guest who from time to time, they invited to become host of the show because of her extreme popularity. And yes, the crowd just loved Shizuru – they just couldn't get enough.

"WE LOVE YOU SHIZURU-SAMA!"

"Alright, everyone do me a favor and control your raging libido so we could get started!" Give it to Nao to talk so bluntly with a straight face. The stage director, Reito, on the side of the stage suddenly sported a large angry vein in his forehead. Shizuru simply sighed. _Their antics never fade!_

"So today we have a special guest who visited us all the way from America. She's an internationally acclaimed singer and actress who produced top chart songs and best-selling movies." Nao glanced sideways at her co-host, her lips curling upward mischievously. Shizuru caught it and eyed her confusedly.

"Without further ado," Nao paused for a hand drum roll. "Let's welcome Natsuki Kuga!" She announced loudly and shrewdly, emphasizing the name in striking, bold capital letters.

Shizuru almost fainted. That name was a taboo. Never to be spoken of. Never to be heard. Whatever was happening now was beyond her comprehension. Her brain was overloaded with mixed antagonizing emotions that almost broke her mighty façade. She glared at Nao whose wicked smile only turned bigger and sneakier.

_Tell me this is a freaking annoying joke of yours!_

_The joke's on you, Shizuru. Thought you're born ready for this, hey?_

Malicious lime green eyes were communicating with begrudging crimson eyes. However, the loud cheering from the crowd broke their eye-to-eye staring contest as Nao turned her head and stood up to meet the approaching guest. Shizuru turned frozen as her eyes suddenly found the floor to be very interesting.

_Dear floor, _

_You probably don't know me but I need your help. Like right now. Could you please open up and swallow me? Bury me under the depths of the earth where crimsons would never meet emeralds. Please! hurry up! I don't have the luxury of time._

_Sincerely yours, _

_Crimsons-desperately-trying-to-move-on_

In the corner of her eye, she saw Nao already shaking hands and giving a quick hug towards the special guest. She knew that as a courtesy, she also needed to greet her. Had this been anyone else but her, she would most graciously give the guest a big, warm welcome. But darn! Of all the people in the whole wide world with 7.7 billion populations why the heck is this woman even here? _Ugh, I hate my life! _

While Shizuru was debating on whether to walk out or simply ignore this special guest for the whole duration of the show (her eyes still trained on the glorious floor), she suddenly felt a slight tug on her hand and a warm sensation exploding at the back of her hand. Her nagging curiosity getting the better of her fight-flight instinct, crimsons locked eyes with emeralds.

"Hello stranger…" That husky alluring voice that she used to love was speaking to her. That treacherous voice that she ached to hear now overwhelmed her senses. That silky dark blue hair that she loved combing with her hand was just as tempting as it was in the past. Those luscious lips she used to kiss were always so inviting. And that face! That face of perfection she always dreamed of touching was as real as it could get.

Natsuki was just so aggresively hot wearing a leather jacket underneath a white tee and black ripped jeans. Heck, she could even just wear a rag and Shizuru would still fall head-over-heels in love with her in a blink of an eye.

They broke up two years ago. _That was so ancient already! It was over long time ago!_ But then why? Only two words were spoken yet here she was fighting over the whirlwind of emotions that plagued her. She felt so pathetic.

Nonetheless, with her heart thumping outrageously, her pulse insanely driving on the fast lane, her blood pounding vociferously, Shizuru was amazing to still pull an expressionless face, her emotions well under cover. Pulling her hand roughly but discreetly away from Natsuki, she nodded her head in the slightest acknowledgment. Natsuki settled to sit on other couch facing both hosts though clearly her undivided attention was with the brunette, her ex.

"So, how's life in America? You've been there for two years right? After you…"

Natsuki coughed significantly. "Yeah, it was okay, I guess. Been busy with lot of things going around – promotions and all that. But surviving, I think." She shrugged, her emerald eyes barely trying to focus on Nao. Which was totally understandable. With Shizuru who was still as elegant and gorgeous as before, no one could blame her – her emerald eyes wanting to absorb as much detail as possible with this goddess in front of her.

"Hm… with your busy schedule, I take it you're still single?" Again, give credit to the redhead for hitting bull's eye questions. Shining, shimmering, splendid word – SINGLE?

Nao was clearly enjoying the awkwardness atmosphere settling in the stage. Natsuki and Shizuru's relationship had been private that only a handful of people knew about it. Unfortunately, that included the witty redhead in the list.

Shizuru was getting uneasy by the minute with the presence of this familiar stranger. However, it was even more uncomfortable, awkward and frustrating with all these questions being thrown by the sneaky redhead. She glared at Nao who looked innocently offended. _What? I know you've been dying to ask too right? _

Even the crowd was also hooting boisterously, eagerly waiting for Natsuki to answer.

"Yeah.. yeah, single still." Natsuki scratched her cheek while blushing. In the corner of her eye, she was gauging Shizuru's reaction, trying to read any little signs that would give her clue as to what the brunette was feeling or even thinking. Alas, Shizuru fashionably kept her poker face alive!

Though internally, Shizuru's spirits soared high above the sky. Half of her brain already thought of million possibilities that could happen (now that she's back), while another half was berating her for being so vulnerable and fragile.

_She's your past. Let's leave it like that. _

_No, everyone deserves a second chance! Looks like she's still crazy in love with you! _

_No, listen to me you dimwit, she will just break your wounded heart again and again and again. She's a heartbreaker remember? _

_But people learn from their mistakes. _

_Shizuru, use your heart_

_Shizuru, use your brain_

Her internal conflict suddenly dissolved into thin air as that sarcastic voice brought her to reality.

"Earth to Shizuru! Your turn now!"

"T-thank you Nao, that was always the sweetest thing about you." Shizuru spoke gracefully with sarcasm full to the brim.

"Anytime" The redhead mock saluted cheekily.

Glancing briefly at the cue card Mai left her, she swept her eyes over the list of questions she needed to ask.

But then her breath hitched. _What the… Do I really need to ask this? _

Sighing in defeat, she monotonously asked, her crimson eyes roaming everywhere but to Natsuki. "Now that you're back, what do you miss the most about Japan?"

_You, _Natsuki almost wanted to speak loudly. _It's always been you, Shizuru. You know that. All this time, I've never gotten over you. I still love you. I just hope… you still do…_

"Er…" she rubbed her cheek, trying to think of an alternative answer. "Everything in here… coz Japan is always my home. As they say, your home is where your heart is."

Shizuru felt electricity rushing through her body, coursing through her veins. The answer was so generic and yet she knew what those words truly meant – _Japan is always my home_. When they were still together, Natsuki would surprise her by saying the sweetest thing out of the blue. _I really love you Shizuru! Home is where you are, Shizuru. Because my heart forever belongs to you._

Trying to divert her attention, she again looked at the cue card in her hand and focused on the next question. _Ugh, another useless question. _

"Any plans on staying here in Japan for good? Though of course, you have already made a successful career in America. Shame to simply let it go."

_Tell me to stay and I will, Shizuru. Just say it. I realized that I can let go of everything but you. You are my world. You are my everything. _

"Depends I guess." Natsuki answered truthfully.

"Depends on what?" Nao butted in.

"Depends if things go well for me here…" _Depends if Shizuru would still want me. Depends if Shizuru would still accept me. _

"Of course it will!" Nao announced confidently earning everyone's attention particularly the ex-lovers. "After all, you're the badass Natsuki Kuga." Nao smirked.

"Anyway, could you tell us something about the movie that would be released next week? You have all the airtime to promote. Though not that you're needing, cause everyone just loves a pretty face even if their acting sucks!" Nao cackled menacingly, earning dagger glares from the guest.

Redeeming herself, she spoke about her upcoming movie, addressing the lively crowd. "I'd like to invite everyone to watch my movie. It's entitled 'Let's talk about EX', directed by award-winning director, Mashiro Blan de Windbloom. It's a story about ex-lovers who unexpectedly meet again after a long time of no communication. Whether they'll get back or move on, it's for you to find out in the movie. There are wonderful twists in the story. You'll surely love it!"

"Sounds familiar." Nao commented wittingly, earning a destructive glare from Shizuru. "I mean sounds interesting."

"Anyway, before we let you go, I heard that you did a soundtrack revival for this movie. Could you sing it for us?" Nao asked. "Oh, and my lovely co-host here would also start recording her own album. Maybe you could duet with her!"

Shizuru and Natsuki's eyes bulged simultaneously. Of course Natsuki would want grab whatever opportunity with Shizuru, but she did not want to put her on the spotlight in case she didn't want.

"C'mon Shizuru. Your fans are waiting!" Nao teased further.

With no further options left, the blushing ex-lovers stood up. Natsuki closed in the distance between them, facing the brunette who was losing her composure by the second. She held her hand and whispered almost inaudibly. _I miss you, Shizuru. _The brunette could not anymore avoid those bright emerald eyes as she stared longingly at her.

Smiling genuinely, Natsuki started singing.

Two old friends meet again

Wearin' older faces

And talk about the places they've been

Two old sweethearts who fell apart

Somewhere long ago

How are they to know

Someday they'd meet again

And have a need for more than reminiscin'

As Natsuki was singing, emotions were high for both of them. Their eyes were speaking words that mouths failed to utter. Their locked eyes spoke volumes of how much they missed each other. Their entwined hands screamed the intensity of how much they yearned for one another.

Shizuru raised the mic to her mouth and also sang the chorus together with Natsuki. Her voice carried the bottled emotions that she held for a long time, wanting to explode right at this moment.

Maybe this time

It'll be lovin' they'll find

Maybe now they can be more than just friends

She's back in her life

And it feels so right

Maybe this time, love won't end

As the audience clapped their hands, as the song finally ended, so was their short-lived fairy tale moment as Shizuru pulled her hand away from her and turned around, leaving Natsuki all by herself.

"Thank you Shizuru and Natsuki." Nao also clapped her hands. "It felt so magical, it gave me chills, I mean thrills." The audience laughed heartily.

"Everyone, Natsuki Kuga!" The audience again applauded and hooted deafeningly.

Natsuki waved at the crowd affably and with one last fleeting glimpse at Shizuru whose eyes were trained on the floor again, she exited the show.

-x-

The show continued for another half an hour when finally, Reito announced the live show to be over. Shizuru was mentally and emotionally drained. As she was heading to her dressing room, she felt a hand holding her arm. Her crimson eyes traveled from that arm until it landed at the owner's beautiful but worried face.

"Shizuru, can we talk?"

Sighing deeply, she spoke truthfully. "There's nothing to talk about. It's over. We're over. You left me right? Don't you remember?" Hurt and pain still reverberated within those words.

"Shizuru, please, please… can we please talk?"

-x-


	2. I won't give up

Chapter 2 – I won't give up

A/N: Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews/faves/follows! I didn't expect that as I only wrote this for fun - didn't even proofread like usual and the flow of the story was just spontaneous. But anyway, awesome people, I hope you enjoy this.

Chapter 1

Sighing deeply, she spoke truthfully. "There's nothing to talk about. It's over. We're over. You left me right? Don't you remember?" Hurt and pain still reverberated within those words.

"Shizuru, please, please… can we please talk?"

-x—

Shizuru was having internal turmoil, her fragile heart fighting against her rational brain. While she had not yet totally moved on, she was more stable than when Natsuki had first left her. She thought she would die – yes that was exactly how she felt two years ago. Betrayed. Broken. Abandoned.

Baby steps she was recovering, little steps she was slowly starting to live her life again. And just when she thought she could soon get over her ex-lover, Natsuki would again destroy the little progress she had made by coming back. Two years of no communication and now she would show up unexpectedly. _What the heck. _

_She's your past. Let's leave it like that. _

_No, everyone deserves a second chance!_

Glaring back at those pained emerald eyes, it all came back to her in full swing – the pain, the betrayal, the heartache. Natsuki was wearing the same pained expression on her face when she decided to leave her. Pulling her arm aggressively, she turned about facing the dressing room door and turning the knob open. Halfway inside, she stopped and spoke menacingly without looking back.

"Please just this one… Do me a favor. Never show your face in front of me _ever again_."

Those words resounded so loudly in her ears that she hadn't even heard the angry slam of the door. She felt as if she was slapped hard in the face with those harsh words. Leaning her forehead on the door and her hand resting on the doorknob, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"Shizuru, I know you can hear me. I won't give up until you talk to me. I won't give up on you."

With that, Natsuki left. Shizuru was leaning her back on the door, her heart thumping erratically. _Natsuki, why? Why must you come back? Why must you confuse me? _

-x-

_Kriiiiiing Kriiiiing _

"Hello?"

"Natsuki? How did it go?"

"Mai…" Natsuki sighed. "She really hated me… I can't blame her though. I'm such an ass."

"Hmm… That's good news."

"Oi? Didn't you hear me, Mai?" Natsuki was starting to get annoyed. "She HATES me!"

"Really Natsuki? Are you dumb or dumber? The fact that she hates you means she still loves you! Idiot!"

Natsuki was silent for a moment before she spoke uncertainly. "You think so?"

"Trust me! I'm the love expert. Hating you is much better than her being indifferent. Only shows your girl is still under your cunning magical spell."

"Shut up!" Natsuki finally felt relieved, her lips curling into a smile. "Thanks Mai."

"Anytime! Just shout if there's anything I could help you with. Though I think Shizuru would kill me first for that sneaky request. She now knows I'm your spy."

"Thanks for doing this Mai. This time, I won't let her go. I just hope I'm not too late."

"Better late than never right? You'll be fine, Natsuki."

"Later."

-x-

The following morning, Shizuru had had to apply more make-up than usual to cover the dark circles under her eyes. With the recent events transpiring in the speed of a bullet, Hypnos and Morpheus failed to join her company last night. She was literally a walking zombie – but a beautiful one indeed.

Doing things on auto-pilot, she dressed quickly, grabbed her handbag and went out of the house. Breakfast was in the least of her priorities. Right on cue, the familiar white Mercedes Marco Polo campervan stopped in front of her.

With her busy schedule as the CEO of Fujino Conglomerate and part-time model, host and singer, she could not afford the luxury of traveling back home every so often thus spending most of her time living in the campervan. Today would be a hectic one as she had company meetings in the morning running until afternoon and modeling at night. _Way to go! _

As she pulled open the door, she conveniently slumped on the comfortable leather seat, sighing deeply as fatigue and migraine seemed to cooperate as one and harass her at the same time. Slowly, the car moved, its engine humming softly in the background.

For twenty minutes or so, she was enjoying the ride, soothing and relaxing. Glancing at the window, she was mesmerized by the scenery before her. However, she suddenly felt odd as this was not the usual way they went to office.

"Ara, Kazuya, why are we using this junction? I must hurry as my meeting will start by 8 AM sharp."

However, Kazuya neither acknowledged nor responded. He just kept on driving, his hand on the steering wheel.

Shizuru, trying to calm her growing annoyance, gently tap her driver on the shoulder. "Kazuya?"

They locked eyes in the rear-view mirror – crimsons staring at azure blue. _No wait, that's not blue!? E-emeralds!_ The brunette had to blink her eyes to get her bearings when all the same, amused emeralds were staring back at her from time to time. Her jaw dropped. Her façade shattered.

"YOU!" Shizuru blurted so shockingly, her crimson eyes almost closed to popping.

"Yes I am. At your service, my queen!" Natsuki answered, her eyebrow arched teasingly while maintaining the smooth drive of the car. She almost wanted to laugh hysterically seeing the priceless expression of her ex-lover.

"What are you doing?" The brunette demanded with authority and cold savageness.

"I think... this is called... driving?" Natsuki was absolutely enjoying herself annoying her passenger at the back. She was mentally giving herself high-five for a job well done, catching the brunette off-guard. _Oh my goodness, I really missed you so much Shizuru! Everything about you. _

"Tch, I know you are driving." Shizuru answered, her composure gone with the wind. "But why are _you_ the one driving?" She could not believe how careless and unmindful she had become. _Ara, I must be really so exhausted! I so hate myself! Sneaky woman!_

"I demand you to stop the car right now!"

"Can't. Sorry, we're now in the middle of highway. Doing so would cause unnecessary accident. That's basic rule in driving along the highway right?" As it was, Natsuki was pushing her luck, irritating her ex-lover even more. Shizuru could only roll her eyes in response.

"I'm going to call the police. This is kidnapping!" Shizuru threatened as she started rummaging through her handbag.

"Wait, wait…" Natsuki called. "Correction. You _freely_ and _willingly_ entered the car. I did not even force you. I don't think that could count as kidnapping." Natsuki glanced at the rear-view mirror again, winking mischievously at her as she watched Shizuru narrowing her angry crimson eyes.

"Oh, are you looking for this?" Natsuki opened the top compartment retrieving the iPhone and holding it teasingly in one hand.

"That's my phone! Wow, after kidnapping now resorting to stealing?" Shizuru tried to grab her phone back but the driver sneakily swerved her hand away from her passenger.

"Whoa, hold on there, my sweetheart. That's two accusations already!" Natsuki responded cheekily. "FYI, you left this at the studio yesterday. Mai gave it to me to hand it back to you."

"Well.. give it back to me now!" She tried to steal the phone away but Natsuki again deflected her attacks.

"What? So you can make a call? I don't think so." She cocked her head mockingly.

"I said give _my_ phone to me!" Shizuru again demanded heatedly.

"Fine…" Sighing in defeat, Natsuki handed over the phone, with the brunette grabbing it a bit too ruthlessly. Instantly, the brunette was about to make a call when she realized one thing. _What… dead battery!? Seriously!? _

Natsuki stared at her from the mirror, her lips curling wickedly as she tried her best to hold her laughter. Shizuru breathed deeply, totally ticked off by her ex-lover's pranks.

"Lend me your charger…"

"No please?" Natsuki called from the driver's seat.

Shizuru grunted audibly forcing the word in her lips. "Please?"

"Sure." Natsuki again opened the compartment, searching for the phone cable. "Here…" She was handing her the cable charger. "Oh but this is Samsung." Natsuki replied casually.

"Very funny." Shizuru answered sarcastically, her hands curling into fists. _As if I could use that!_

"What? I dunno… you might still want to try and see it for yourself. You'll never know right? Might fit..."

"On second thought, give me that cable so I could strangle an annoying stranger like right now."

Quickly, Natsuki hid the cable, out of reach by the brunette. "I change my mind. No more lending, I guess."

After a short while, Shizuru opened the car window, having a brilliant idea on how to finally escape. Natsuki hearing the scraping at the back glanced at the mirror and spoke in alarm.

"Hey, hey, darling, what do you think you're doing!?"

Shizuru was flailing her arms relentlessly trying to get attentions from the nearby cars. "What else? Trying to ask for help! In my opinion, I'm still being kidnapped here."

"Really? You're doing this? Get everyone's attention?" Natsuki paused to catch her breath. "I guess that's not too bad, having a scandal with you right? Famous Fujino heiress together with Awesome Natsuki Kuga. Go on. I won't complain. Get their attention."

Shizuru suddenly realized the repercussions if she would be involved in a scandal and she grudgingly closed the car window. Natsuki sighed in great relief. _Whew! That was close! _

"Wow, you really planned all this huh?" Shizuru accused furiously. "Do you even have any idea how important my meeting is this morning? And for what? All for your selfish pranks!"

"Don't worry. I've got everything covered. A little twist here and there. What's the use of being a Kuga if I can't get what I want."

"Ugh, you are so annoying." Shizuru was beyond mad. Yesterday, she made up her mind she would do her best to avoid her ex and ironically, here she was spending a luxurious time with her. "I will totally ignore you, until you realize it's best to leave me alone."

"Wait baby, are you serious? You're just gonna ignore me? After all my efforts?" Natsuki was exasperated, her emerald eyes glancing at the mirror every so often. True to her word, Shizuru was looking at the scenery outside, totally ignoring her.

For good ten minutes, Natsuki kept on talking to her but Shizuru only responded with nothing but silence.

"Sigh…." Natsuki kept her eyes on the road, driving in a moderate speed when suddenly she thought of an idea – again, a wonderful idea to annoy her passenger. She again peeked at her in the mirror and grinned to herself. _Ignore me huh? Let's see about that. _

She started humming softly, her hand beating the steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern.

When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise

Well, there's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

_Inhale. Exhale. _Shizuru commanded her mind and body, trying her best to ignore the infuriating driver singing her heart out. But it was not working well. It was driving her insane slowly, like a ticking time bomb ready to explode anytime. Especially this song.

During their first anniversary, Shizuru surprised Natsuki by singing this song at the restaurant. Yes, that was so romantic during that time. _During that time_. But now, hearing this song made her remember all those wonderful times they spent together and it was definitely breaking her into pieces. _Don't remember._ _Don't listen to her. Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore her. _

Well, I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

"Will you shut up?" Shizuru was on the losing end, hearing any more lyrics from this song would really drive her nuts.

"Whoa, I thought you're gonna ignore me?" Natsuki asked goofily. "I'm just singing. I kinda feel sleepy. If you want, you can sing for me." Again their eyes locked from the rear-view mirror – annoyed crimson versus amused emeralds.

"Dream on."

"Harsh."

Just then, their banter was ended by the loud grumbling of stomach. Shizuru silently cursed her luck, biting her lips in embarrassment.

"Hm… just like before… you never eat breakfast." Natsuki commented.

"None of your business." She spat viciously.

"Of course it is, I'm kinda distracted hearing a stomach grumbling." She tapped the steering wheel. "Can't focus on driving." She smirked, her husky voice carrying cockiness.

Shizuru crossed her arms on her chest defiantly, glaring at the back of the driver, almost boring hole in the skull.

"Reach at the back. I prepare a breakfast for you." She whispered.

"No thanks, I'd rather go hungry."

"Don't worry, there's no mayo in it. There's also your favorite green tea."

Another loud grumbling and another round of nonstop teasing from the driver made Shizuru comply as she turned her chair around and started digging on the breakfast. Sure enough, Natsuki knew her favorites – croissants and green tea.

Back then, Natsuki would not let her leave their house without eating breakfast. She always made sure the brunette would have a decent one before letting her off as she knew that Shizuru mostly forgot to eat because of her tight schedule.

Remembering those moments brought a lone tear to Shizuru's crimson eye. She treasured every little thing that Natsuki did for her. She could still hear Natsuki's laugh tickling her neck as she would snuggle her before leaving to work. She could still smell that intoxicating green apple scent of her shampoo. She could still feel the lingering kiss as their lips touched and their arms locked around each other. They were so happy. They were so in love with each other. _Then why? What made you leave me, Natsuki? How could you? _

Wiping the lone tear and shaking her thoughts aside, she finished her food and cleaned afterwards. Dwelling on these unanswered questions would only deepen the scar that Natsuki had left her. Facing the front again, she masked her face with that unreadable guarded expression.

"Like it?" Natsuki asked shortly.

"Hm…"

"Anyway, the ride's gonna be long. Take a nap."

"I'm okay. I'm not sleepy."

After twenty minutes of silent driving, Shizuru was dozing off soundly. Natsuki grinned to herself as she watched the exhausted sleeping beauty resting. Just like before, whenever they went on long trips, Natsuki was always the designated driver and Shizuru was the designated sleepyhead passenger. No matter how much she would insist she wanted to stay awake to keep her company, she still ended up sleeping. Not that Natsuki minded, she even enjoyed watching and hearing her making the cutest sounds in her sleep.

Natsuki's eyes were trained on the road but her mind was with the brunette. She felt grateful that she still had the opportunity to do all these things. She thought that when she left her, that was it. She thought that it was the last time she would ever see her again. And as she bid her goodbye, she thought she would never be happy again.

But here she was, glad for another chance to be with Shizuru. She just hoped that she would really succeed in getting her back. And in order for her to do that, she had to be completely honest with her. She had to tell her everything, including the painful truth she hid two years ago. She did not have a choice back then. Leaving was her only option at that time. Leaving would be less painful for Shizuru than her knowing the truth.

Though if things didn't work out, the very least she was hoping was for Shizuru to forgive her. If after all the effort she made and Shizuru still did not want her back, at least she knew she tried. There would be no more regrets.

_Shizuru, if by then you won't accept me back, I will still always and forever love you. _

-x-

Hope you enjoy my sneaky romantic Natsuki. I know I mentioned this would be 2 or 3 chapters at most, but I must apologize. I just want this fic's chapters to be fun, short and easygoing. Sorry!


	3. Truth or Dare

**Chapter 3 – Truth or Dare**

The sound of the car engine finally coming to a stop brought the pretty brunette back to the real world. She internally winced realizing she must have dozed off somewhere along the way when she rebelliously insisted being okay and not sleepy. Very slowly, she opened one eye peeking if the coast was clear and hoping that Natsuki didn't notice her dozing at all. _Please don't make her realize! Don't make her…_

Her thoughts abruptly ended as her scarlet eye finally settled on that grinning face, watching her intently with that annoying signature smirk of hers. _Crap! Dearest myself, going forward, please do not find more ways to further embarrass yourself in front of this woman okay? You see that annoying smirk of hers? It was sooooo humiliating to be on the receiving end. So, please, let's cooperate with each other? Deal?_

Mentally sighing, she opened both eyes opting to glare menacingly at those curious emerald eyes. "What's so funny?" She asked coldly and curtly, raising her eyebrow for emphasis.

Natsuki was still seated in the driver's seat, her body turned sideways as she watched her passenger from the back. Her grin just grew even wider, her body shaking uncontrollably as she choked back her laughter. "Sorry… I just…" Natsuki finally relented and snorted loudly, wiping invisible tear from her eyes. Shizuru's eyes narrowed angrily, her fists clenching on her lap as she watched her humorlessly.

As her mirth died down, she again looked at her, emerald eyes still twinkling with mischief. "Your face… You got some drool on it." She pointed with her forefinger.

Instantly, Shizuru turned bright red, her hand automatically flying to her lips, wiping furiously any remnants of saliva on her face. The driver again roared in laughter when Shizuru threw her a dirty glance as the latter realized she had been fooled.

"Happy?" The brunette questioned sarcastically.

"Now, now… Chill, sweetheart. Don't bite my head off." Natsuki cooed as Shizuru continued to throw dagger glares at her. "It's just that I missed you." She replied sincerely.

When Shizuru did not speak she continued, her eyes turning reminiscent. "I remembered you always promise not to fall asleep and keep me company, but hey, you're still doing it."

"Ara, I must apologize however you don't strike me as someone with long-term memory." Shizuru retorted wittily. _How about our promise of forever? Do you even remember? _

"Come on, my memory is perfectly alright. I could even clearly recall someone mumbling in her sleep calling out a very particular _name_." She winked at her knowingly to which the brunette's eyes widened in alarm.

"YOU DID NOT!" _CRAAP Shizuru! Ara, what now this time? What did you mumble in your freaking sleep!? What was I even dreaming? Ugh! I can't even remember! Ara! Please… not her name… not her name…. Relax, she's just bluffing! There's no way. But I do sleep-talk. Argh! The heck with you Shizuru Fujino, get ahold of yourself!_

"Oh yeah? Try me. Do you want to hear the _name_?" Natsuki challenged, her smirk just turning bigger and bolder.

"Shut it" She hissed angrily.

"It starts with letter 'N'…"

Again, Shizuru's eyes widened, her heart clobbering wildly as her grip on her handbag tightened.

"Followed by 'A'…" Natsuki continued with her merciless teasing, enjoying the reactions she was getting from her passenger. "Need any more clues from Detective Sherlock?" She waggled her eyebrows at her.

Shizuru narrowed her eyes. "Having more fun yet? Still not enough?"

"What?" Natsuki answered defensively, chuckling mischievously. "I just want to prove my memory is perfect that I could remember you calling out…" She paused dramatically whereas the brunette inhaled sharply dreading what she was about to hear. Emeralds locked with rubies. "your favorite tea… 'NA-tural green tea'"

At that instant, she did not know whether she should feel relieved or frustrated. Relief for not voicing out Natsuki's name. Or frustrated as the said woman could easily get so many reactions from her. All she knew was that she wanted to give this woman a good beating for almost giving her a heart attack. _But did I even dream about tea? Like being in a tea ceremony or something? Ara, I can't remember!_

She was snapped out of her thoughts as she realized the driver talking to her. "Don't worry, I'm telling you now, you did not speak my name, so relax. But even if you don't, you know that I know that you miss me." She winked at her again.

"As if!" Shizuru scoffed back, her hand running through her wavy brown hair, trying to hide any opposite reactions that might be a giveaway to the raven-haired woman.

Natsuki simply laughed it off as she opened the car door and stepped out. Shortly, she opened Shizuru's side door still grinning pompously. "Welcome to Fuuka Beach Resort, You're Majesty." She extended her hand to which the brunette totally ignored as she stepped down on her own.

Natsuki had decided to bring her in a private beach resort where the brunette could relax and unwind without worry of any paparazzi lurking in the shadows. Mai had suggested to use the Fuuka Beach Resort which was owned by Chie Harada, an old friend from the university back in the days.

As Shizuru swept her scarlet eyes over the high-end resort, she couldn't help but feel amazed at the luxuriousness and breathtaking view, overlooking the bluest waters mingling with the most pristine sands. From a distance, she could see several overwater bungalows all connected by a massive footbridge that ran the length of the cottages. Over to her right, various water activities including kayaks, jet skis and private boats were at the guests' disposal. Unconsciously, she mumbled a 'wow' under her breath which did not go undetected by Natsuki.

"Do you like me?" Shizuru suddenly stiffened at those words. "I mean… do you like it?" Natsuki corrected afterwards. She was standing a few feet behind the brunette, watching the beauty in front of her with nothing but admiration.

"I would have…" The brunette admitted. "But not today…" She finished bluntly.

"What? Why?" Natsuki asked confused.

Shizuru faced her. "I am being kidnapped, brought here against my will. My day's schedule just got ruined. My phone almost stolen and you got the nerve to ask _why_?"

"Whoa! You sure like to blame it all on me, huh?" Natsuki pouted cutely. "Firstly, it wasn't my fault someone wanted to joyride with me going here. You should feel honored I allowed you to tag along." She explained smugly.

Shizuru turned hot-headed. "Excuse me! That is my car you are using! Look at the plate number!" She responded heatedly, pointing her thumb at the license plate on the car. Both of them looked at the said license plate.

"What!?" Shizuru looked aghast. "But…" _That can't be…_

Natsuki again looked at her triumphantly, her grin getting bolder. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. That's what you get for being so assuming. Just because your car _looks similar_ to my car, doesn't mean it is your car. Sooo…. can we scratch myself being a kidnapper? It's not like I'm calling you a _hitchhiker_." Natsuki voiced out incredulously.

_A what? Me? Hitchhiker? _Shizuru could only roll her eyes, her mouth agape from disbelief. Her fists were clenched on her side, her nails digging in the flesh of her hands. _This woman is soo… sooo…. Ugh! The nerve! I'm so gonna kill this arrogant woman! _

"Secondly, about your day's schedule…" Natsuki tapped on her phone and after few swipes, she showed it to the brunette. "See? Today is Natsuki's Day. I got it all blocked and scheduled."

"And why would I even have such a day on _my_ schedule?" _I'm so gonna fire that Aoi! Why would she even put such a thing on my calendar? I'm paying her for nothing! _

"Darling, don't you realize?" Natsuki asked conceitedly. "All's fair in love and war." She then completed her sentence with a flying kiss, sending it to the brunette who again rolled her eyes irritably.

"Lastly, I've told you already. Mai handed over your phone to me. I did not steal it. You should even thank me for bringing it to you. So… now that all your issues are sorted, I'll ask you again. Do you like this place?" Natsuki again asked truthfully.

"Still a 'no' for you!" Shizuru retorted as she trudged her way towards the resort, leaving Natsuki by herself.

She watched the retreating figure of the brunette before deciding to pick up their things and check them in. Quickly glancing at her wristwatch which showed half past eleven, she noted that the redheads should already be in by now, probably indulging themselves in Jacuzzi or spa.

She suddenly felt nostalgic, as she recalled their group outings years ago. Mai was always the organizer of whatever events and Nao, with her worldwide connections, could easily afford to book their outings smoothly and effortlessly. Shizuru, Natsuki, Mikoto and Chie were also part of the group, which was popularly known as 'The Oddballs' during their university days. And in those outings did she realize her true feelings towards the brunette. Sure, Shizuru also had feelings for her only the latter was a great pretender, hiding her emotions perfectly well.

"_Soooo, Kuga Kuga Kuga… Truth or Dare?" Nao asked her sweetly as her hand rested on the empty bottle they used to spin for the game. All six of them were seated around the campfire, enjoying the cool breeze in the atmosphere. At the moment, all eyes were at the raven-haired woman, waiting for her response. _

_Natsuki thought for a moment, thinking which was the lesser of the two evils. There were so many questions the redhead could randomly ask and she'd be doomed for the rest of her life if the right questions were asked, especially if it involved a certain scarlet-eyed woman. Then, looking at the brunette, she realized she could not afford to let her feelings be known, lest things would be awkward between them. And she did not want that. Shizuru was her best friend, her partner-in-crime and it would stay just like that. _

"_Dare" Natsuki called nonchalantly. Chie and Nao started hooting and clapping their hands as they rooted for Natsuki's courageous act. Shizuru simply smiled at her which was almost enough to swoon her and melt her into a puddle. Mai and Mikoto looked just as excited as they waited Nao's instructions. _

"_Let's take a moment of silence to actually absorb and admire the bravery of our oddball friend, Natsuki Kuga." Chie muttered while clasping her hands together. The others broke into fits of giggles. _

"_SHUT UP!" Natsuki threw a travel pillow at the laughing bespectacled woman._

"_Okay, the moment of truth…." Nao spoke. "Kuga, I dare you to…." Everyone was now tuned in at the redhead's command. "kiss anyone here… Oh, not just simply kiss… I meant it to be intimate, passionate and oh-so-romantic." _

"_WHAT!" Natsuki blurted shockingly. First of all, she never had her first kiss. And thanks to this stupid 'truth or dare' game, her first kiss would be wasted! But then at the back of her mind, a small voice was shouting in victory for this glorious moment – a chance to actually kiss her… her best friend… her Shizuru…_

"_Oh come off it, cowardly pup. It's just us! Kiss whoever you are comfortable with!" Nao cooed. "You could even choose me and I'll make things easier for you. You can follow my lead." She added seductively while puckering her lips. _

"_Oh please, I'd be poisoned to kiss those lips of yours." Natsuki retorted shaking her head as if dismissing the very thought itself. _

"_Fine! Then, be the boss. Choose your victim!" Nao spat savagely. _

_It was a major dilemma or that was what she would like to think about it. There was no way she could kiss Mai or Mikoto, the two were in a relationship. Nao was definitely a no-no because she would surely spread how such a bad kisser she was and she could really be poisoned! Same could be said for Chie, she might even video record or worse, upload the video of them kissing. So… there was only that option left… Shizuru… _

_But freaking no! I can't do it. I mean, I like her and all that but I can't do this to her. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her. I can't do this to her. I respect her. _

"_Make a move, Kuga! We're waiting!" Chie teased. _

_But what choice do I have now… You're my only option Shizuru… I'm sorry. _

_Standing up from her sitting position, she eyed the redhead grudgingly "You'll pay for this!"_

"_I'd like to see you try, sweetie." Nao replied conceitedly. _

_Heaving a deep sigh, she watched Shizuru at the corner of her eyes. The latter seemed relaxed and calm as always, her brown wavy hair gently being blown by the wind. Bracing herself, she slowly walked towards the brunette and kneeled down before her. Shizuru looked amused but not surprised which she took as a good sign. _

_Blushing furiously, she squeaked a quick "I'm sorry" then she held the brunette's chin, closed her eyes and closed in the distance between them. As their lips touched, Natsuki suddenly became aware of how soft those lips were, how delicious those lips tasted and how she was craving for more. It was both thrilling and addicting at the same time. Unconsciously, her other hand went behind the small of the brunette's back, almost pulling Shizuru closer to her as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue moved on its own forcing its way towards Shizuru's mouth, claiming the woman completely. _

_In her mind's eye, there was only Shizuru. This woman whom she had had feelings for such a long time. This woman who kept on visiting her in her dreams. This woman who even in her waking moments plagued her mind constantly. This woman whom she knew she could spend the rest of her life with. And darn! She was kissing this woman for real! And freaking yeah, she was absolutely LOVING it!_

_She was the one initiating everything, taking control of the flow however, she was surprised when the brunette cupped her cheeks and returned her favor with just as much passion and longing as she had. Instantly, the two had been fighting for dominance, enjoying and tasting each other like there's no tomorrow. It was such a pure bliss touching and tasting the person whom she really liked but even more so when that person returned your feelings just as much. The two savored each other until both were out of breath and reluctantly had to pull away from one another. The two seemed to have entirely forgotten the presence of four pairs of eyes watching them intently as their eyes locked and their faces flushed. Natsuki leaned her forehead on Shizuru's as she smiled embarrassingly at her best friend. _

"_OH MY FREAKING HOTNESS!" Chie blurted out, as she stopped the video recording on her phone. "ARE YOU TWO DATING!?" _

"_WHAT!" Both of them blurted out simultaneously, then they looked at each other before responding "NO" at the same time. _

"_Really? I could almost believe you two are experts at make-out sessions." Mikoto commented slyly._

"_Is there something we need to know?" Mai asked suspiciously. _

"_Checkmate!" Nao snickered uncontrollably. _

_Natsuki quickly backed away from the brunette, trying to evade all their questions. "T-that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard you guys come up with. I mean.. come on… Shizuru's my best friend!" She hooked her arm on the brunette's shoulders who instantly stiffened at the contact. "There's no way we are... together." She looked at the brunette for confirmation. _

_However as she stared deeply at those intense crimson orbs, there was that unexplainable look of pain that lingered for a moment before it was quickly replaced by the usual mischievous glint in her eyes. "Ara, are we that convincing?" Shizuru laughed musically. _

_A part of Natsuki was a bit hurt by those words because for her, she was convinced that she liked… no, she loved this woman like crazy. For her, the kiss was as real as it could get. For her, the kiss was more than just a dare but rather an expression of her admiration towards the brunette. For her, it could even be more than just a kiss but an intimacy shared between the two of them. _

"_Totally! Can't believe we fooled you oddballs. After all, this was just nothing but a dare…" Natsuki shrugged. Yeah right Natsuki, think of it that way, so it'll be less painful. _

_As the night grew darker, all of them retreated back to their villas. Mai and Mikoto were sharing one room, Nao and Chie in another room while Shizuru and Natsuki also shared a separate room. It was then that the awkwardness between the two best friends was at its peak. _

_As they entered their room, Natsuki glanced shyly at the brunette walking a few feet ahead of her. As always, Shizuru completely masked her emotions, as if her day was normal and nothing out-of-ordinary ever occurred. Natsuki coughed intentionally, successfully gaining her roomie's attention. _

"_Uhm..err… Shiz, about earlier…" The raven-haired woman flushed as she scratched her cheek cutely. "I really like to apologize…" Natsuki watched the brunette in front of her, hoping that the latter would really take the kiss as nothing but a game. For Natsuki, their friendship was more important. She would not dare do anything that would break their friendship. _

_Slowly Shizuru faced her, her expression unreadable. "Really, Natsuki? Do you?" Shizuru silently asked her. _

_Natsuki suddenly looked confused. She unconsciously backpedaled as the brunette advanced on her until her back touched the door and Shizuru trapped her with both her arms on Natsuki's sides. "Shizuru, are you mad?" Natsuki panicked. "I'm really sorry. It's just that…" _

"_Natsuki…" Shizuru spoke sadly. "Tell me honestly, would you like me to forget about the kiss?" The brunette was looking intently at her, those scarlet eyes almost pitiful and pleading._

_No, I want you to remember the kiss 'coz I want to be the only one to kiss those lips of yours forever. But I can't let my feelings for you break our friendship… your trust… I cannot afford to lose you Shizuru. I won't ruin our friendship. You are so important to me. I can't lose you._

"_Yes. Like I said, it was just a game. I hope you don't take anything personally. Again, I'm sorry about that, Shiz." Natsuki tried to laugh to shake off the tension between them. _

_Shizuru slowly dropped her head at the crook of Natsuki's neck as she sighed heavily. "Such a cruel child you are Natsuki." She muttered under her breath. Natsuki wrapped her arms around the brunette, enveloping her in a warm hug. They stayed in each other's arms for a bit until Shizuru slowly moved away, her eyes almost brimming with tears. _

_Natsuki was shocked seeing the brunette crying that her emotions got the better of her and she quickly pulled back Shizuru towards her, her hands cupping the brunette's cheeks as she kissed her so hungrily. Her eyes instantly closed at the contact, savoring the sweet taste of this woman. She turned around without breaking their intimate moment so that Shizuru was the one leaning on the door. Her tongue much more forceful than earlier, explored the brunette's mouth, tasting every bit of her as her hand caressed the brunette's neck, enjoying the soft moan escaping the brunette. _

_As they parted, both breathing heavily, Natsuki rested her forehead to Shizuru's, enjoying looking through those intense but beautiful crimson eyes. She again stole a quick peck on the lips. "Damn it Shizuru, I love you. I really do." To heck with it but I can't hide this anymore. I'm freaking in love with my best friend. And now, I admit it to her. _

_Smiling sincerely, the brunette responded "I love you more, Natsuki."_

As Natsuki reminisced that moment they became officially together, it always brought a big smile on her face, even during those times she was in America, struggling like crazy. Shizuru was her motivation, her inspiration for her to keep holding on. There were those moments she wanted to give up and quit but thinking of the brunette always gave her the strength she needed to move forward.

She had just finished her check-in on the front desk and was headed towards one of the overwater bungalows. On her way, she saw the brunette sitting on the far-end of the footbridge, her feet lazily dangling a few inches above water. As she watched the brunette enjoying the radiance of the sun on her face, she couldn't help but sigh in relief to be reunited with this woman again. Her hand resting on her heart, her resolve was absolute. _Shizuru, you are my reason for living. Because you are my everything. I never stop loving you and will never stop loving you._

-x-

A/N: Next chapter, Shizuru's POV? Next month? Cool? As always, thank you for all your faves/follows/reviews. Yo, Hookedonreading, you know how to flatter me, I almost believe it ha! As you can see, I can be bribed. Flattery makes me update more frequently than one month. LOL! Kidding. But jokes are half-meant. So I meant it. But then I don't. Cheers!

P.S. There goes your clue why Natsuki had to leave Shizuru, so don't be hard on our charming Natsuki. It was painful for her just as much as it was for Shizuru.


	4. This is about us

**Chapter 4 – This is about us**

Shizuru was seated at the far-end of the footbridge as she was staring out at the horizon where the seas and the skies collided in a single visible line. She knew this was just an illusion created from perspective considering the distance, the location and one's maximum range of vision. There was no way that the skies would really meet the seas. And that was what she ingrained in her heart and brain since two years ago – she would never meet Natsuki ever again. However, their worlds had collided again.

She took several deep breaths and closed her eyes shortly. The cool breeze that kissed her pretty face and caressed her soft, wavy brown hair brought her a sense of tranquility despite the overwhelming and confusing thoughts that occupied her mind lately. She had to admit, this was really a good relaxation place to actually help her clear her troubled heart and sort out her issues. However, her issue was 'together with her' right at this moment. Her issue was this extremely arrogant woman named Natsuki Kuga.

Yes, Natsuki Kuga was her lover. No, scratch that. She was her _ex-lover_. She was her _past_. That woman was everything to her – the most important person in her life. She was her world, her dreams, her future and her lifeline. She would risk anything including her own life, just for her. Just for Natsuki. She would do anything just for that woman. And yet, Natsuki Kuga was everything she _did not_ expect.

She was the embodiment of betrayal, a fraud personified and Apate's incarnate. The raven-haired woman was nothing but a superb liar and terrific trickster. She made Shizuru believe that she was in love. She made her believe that they were made for each other, that there could be forever. Hard as it may, she made her a complete fool.

Every day in those past two years, there were millions of questions wanting some answers that torture her mind to pieces. _Was there something that I have done? Was there something that I haven't done? Where did I go lacking? Why are you leaving? When are you planning to leave? Where would you go? What went wrong? How could we fix it? Can you please just stay? Do you not love me? Was I not enough? _

The more she pondered on those questions, the more her heart was being squeezed like a lemon in a giant squeezer. Natsuki's answers to all her questions were nothing but apologies. She could not even fathom why the raven-haired woman did what she had done. Except for the only logical explanation… Natsuki Kuga fell out of love. She was done with Shizuru. And she had conveniently dumped her like trash.

She unconsciously brought her hand to her heart as she reminisced everything. She could still clearly remember their last goodbye and the heartache from that moment was etched in her heart like a permanent laser engraving, scarring her for the rest of her life. It had become a tattoo in her heart, a stigma indicating a mark of shame for being a complete fool for this woman, for allowing her world to revolve around this woman. So that when Natsuki left her, she had become nothing but a mere existence. She had lost her reason to live.

With the support of her friends, she was slowly redirecting her life back to normalcy. It was never easy, but she was moving forward, inching ahead little by little until she could finally accept that Natsuki had really left her. Acceptance was a painful reality but a strong motivator for Shizuru to finally let her go. Acceptance was one thing but healing was another thing. However, healing always started from acceptance. And that was where she was at the moment – in the process of healing.

However, fate had its own share of surprises making this so-called journey of life exciting and thrilling. If only Shizuru's heart could afford that excitement and entertain this surprise in her life, things would rather be great. But her broken heart wasn't ready for another heartbreak. She couldn't risk going through that pain again. She could not bet her scarred heart to uncertainty again. Because this time, if she allowed her back in her life and things would still fall apart between the two of them, she might really lose herself. There would be no salvation for her.

Despite the safest and more conservative approach her logical brain was screaming, she could not neglect the renewed feeling of hope and romance that bloomed in her chest upon Natsuki's return. She could deny it and hide behind her façade however she wanted but she could not fool herself. Upon hearing that forbidden name, her heartbeat soared like crazy as if she was in some kind of adrenaline rush. With the barest of touch from that woman, her body was sent on fire, sending electric currents like rapid wildfire consuming her. Upon hearing that husky voice addressing her, calling her name, oh shame, it was more than enough to turn her knees into jelly (fortunately she was seated at that time). And as her ruby eyes settled on that beautiful familiar smirking face, one thing was undoubtedly confirmed. Shizuru Fujino was _still_ irrevocably in love with Natsuki Kuga.

Shizuru sighed as she opened her scarlet eyes. _With just the simplest touch from you. With just your stupid, husky voice. With just your annoying smirking face… Why do you still affect me this much Natsuki? Even after all these years? Even after you dumped me? Why do I always end up getting the short end of the stick? Natsuki, why must you come back and confuse everything? _

Instead of answers to the million questions she had had in the last two years, Natsuki's return only brought yet another wave of questions which she wasn't sure she would like to hear answers from. However, her thoughts were disrupted as two cheery voices called out to her.

"Shizuru!" Both Mikoto and Chie screamed as loud as they could while they outran each other in reaching the brunette. Glancing around, Shizuru saw the two running at full speed towards her and she couldn't help but smile upon seeing them. It had been a while since she had seen the two. Chie had been busy travelling as she managed various resorts across the country whereas Mikoto was always on-the-go being a travel vlogger. Shizuru stood up and waited for them patiently. Further in the distance, she saw the others – Aoi, Mai and Nao walking at a slower pace. It should not come as a surprise to her that these people were the culprits for this escapade. She wondered if she should be relieved or annoyed for their intrusion but having a reunion with these 'oddballs' really brought a smile to her face and warmed her heart– there was no denying that fact.

The cat-like woman was first to reach the brunette hugging her fiercely, followed by Chie who sandwiched Mikoto in her embrace. Natsuki was only a few feet away from them, observing them enviously. The soft chuckle emanating from the brunette reached her ears and she had wished she was the cause of that happiness. The others had arrived giving the brunette a quick hug as well. After exchanging some pleasantries, Shizuru eyed each one of them, her eyebrow raised.

"So, I guess everyone is already present?"

Everyone looked at each other questioningly. "Present for what?" Mikoto asked confused.

"Present to receive my punishment." Shizuru's smile turned enigmatic as everyone's faces faltered. Even Nao gulped nervously as her lime green eyes settled on those murderous scarlet ones.

"Spare me oh mighty, gorgeous woman, I'll tell you everything you need to know! I was forced. My hands were tied." Chie started cleaning her hands only to receive a good pounding at the back of her head from the glaring Aoi.

"Liar!" Aoi was outraged. "Have you forgotten the crash course 'kidnapping 101 skills' that you taught us, you sneaky little liar."

"Hey baby, you must be forgetting." Chie clicked her tongue arrogantly. "The most critical aspect to the success of kidnapping is Shizuru's schedule which YOU willingly shared to us." Aoi blushed instantly.

"It's because Mai asked for help!" Aoi responded defensively, pointing at the busty woman. "Blame Mai!"

"Huh? Why me?" Mai complained when all eyes were on her. "It was Nao. She is the mastermind who plotted all of this."

Nao's eyes bulged, raising her hands in defense. "Excuse me. A plan would be just a plan without proper implementation. What I shared was simply a plan. And kidnapping without a proper getaway vehicle would be useless. So I say this is all Mikoto's fault!" Nao smiled cheekily. "You lending your campervan initiated everything to be executed according to my plan. So, had you not lent your campervan, nothing would have happened."

"Haaaa?" Mikoto's jaw dropped. "You called me in the middle of night asking if you could borrow one of my campervans and I simply said yes because I trusted you." Mikoto complained hotly. "Who would have thought you're going to use that to kidnap someone!"

Shizuru was simply amused watching her friends go at each other's throats. It was just like old times, the way they kept bantering at one another, blaming things to anyone but themselves. It was nostalgic and entertaining. With Aoi's addition as Chie's girlfriend, the group had become even more lively and chaotic at the same time. It would have really been like old times had she still have Natsuki by her side. It would have really been just like before had Natsuki not left. It had even felt as if that was in another lifetime when everything was just perfect. However, times had changed and people moved on.

Forcing those sad thoughts away, she focused on her friends again still bantering with each other until Chie shushed everyone.

"You know what, the actual kidnapper is this woman." Chie dragged the watching raven-haired girl from the side stopping only when the blushing but still arrogant-looking Natsuki was in front of Shizuru. "I guess she deserves all the punishment you may have." Chie clapped Natsuki's back effectively pushing her towards the brunette while others cheered and hooted noisily.

Scarlets locked with emeralds. They stayed like that for a bit longer, not daring to break eye contact until Shizuru smirked and looked away. Her eyes settled on her friends who were waiting for her response. "But… I don't deal with _strangers._" _Right back at you Natsuki._

"Ouch!" Nao teased as she pretended to drop on her knees while clutching her aching heart.

"Boom!" Chie pounded her chest repeatedly. "That's milady!"

"Whoooaaa! Say you what!" Mikoto clapped her hands.

Natsuki couldn't help but smile speechlessly at such a remark, shaking her head in surprise. Clearly, the brunette had used the same word she used to address Shizuru when they first saw each other again. _Hello stranger!_

Mai wisely decided to break the tension and informed everyone the lunch was ready. As everyone headed towards the in-house restaurant, Nao and Chie kept taunting the poor raven-haired woman as they sang their hearts out irritatingly.

"Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think it'd understand"

Aoi and Mikoto were also grooving into the song adding further salt to the injury. Natsuki could only roll her eyes in both amusement and annoyance. Mai, being the mature that she was, was walking beside Shizuru simply content to hearing the taunts from behind though from time to time was also singing the chorus of the song.

The group had had their lunch while swapping stories in between. Mostly, the stories came from Mikoto and Chie for always travelling while Nao would throw rude comments at every opportune time. Mai and Aoi laughed and shared their own sentiments whereas both Natsuki and Shizuru were contented to watch the noisy group.

Whenever Shizuru's attention were on their friends, Natsuki would steal a glance, smiling like an idiot. She had missed Shizuru so much that seeing her now in person completely overjoyed her. She loved watching the brunette smiling, the brunette carefree and happy. And before she would get caught, she would look away pretending to be in deep conversation with the others.

Shizuru on the other hand already knew that Natsuki's emerald eyes were constantly on her. She could see in the corners of her eyes the way the raven-haired woman looked at her. She had wanted to believe it was the same way she looked at the raven-haired woman. But she could not get her hopes up especially when her mind was transporting her back two years ago. _Don't lose your composure, Shizuru. Just ignore her._She reminded herself as she re-focused her mind on the conversation.

"Hey Shizuru, your driver is named Kazuya right?" Chie asked interestedly.

"Ara, Yes. I believe he started to be the company driver around a two weeks ago?" Shizuru tried to remember the exact date the handsome guy started working for her. "Why do you suddenly asked?"

Chie coughed loudly, her eyebrows waggling. "Wanna hear some juicy news?" She glanced at each one. Apparently their intent faces, eyes glued to the smirking bespectacled woman spoke for themselves. Even during their university days, Chie was known to be the number one gossiper, being always on top of all the scandalous news.

Chie smiled proudly. "I take it as yes?" She teased the group. Nao threw a crumpled napkin at the short-haired woman irritatingly. "Just spill it!"

"Gee, patience!" Chie sneered at the redhead.

"Talk!" Nao booed.

"Fine." Chie responded exasperatingly. Then she looked at each one, her eyes shining with delight. "So this Kazuya guy was actually dating this celebrity chick Akane Higurashi."

"Noo way!" Mai suddenly burst out. "Akane is already engaged to that Takeda right?"

"Yeah, we interviewed the couple just three weeks ago. That chick and boring guy announced their engagement during one of our shows." Nao recalled.

"Tsk Tsk tsk… I can't believe you're losing your touch, _Nao-chan_." Chie mocked the redhead only to receive a whopping pounding in the side of the head.

"No to violence please!" Mai broke the two, then urged the gossiper to continue her story.

"So, he got the shock of his life when that engagement came out. Kazuya was beyond himself. He felt betrayed that Akane cheated on him and afterwards quit being her personal driver. That's why he's now your company driver." Chie addressed the brunette. Everybody 'ooohed' as they nodded their heads absorbing that piece of information.

"Oh but there's more to it than meets the eye." Chie's eyes gleamed with mischief. "According to my reliable source, Kazuya had an affair with another actress just to get back at Akane. And this woman was none other than Akane's rival, Mahya Blythe. So this sneaky woman sent a scandalous picture of her and Kazuya to Akane. Are you guys following?" Chie eyed all of them. Everyone bobbed their heads.

"Akane was obviously furious. She bombarded Kazuya with lots of questions, showing the picture as the evidence of his betrayal. But the guy retorted back mentioning about her engagement with that Takeda guy. So who do you think is at fault?"

"Akane obviously." Aoi responded. "She cheated first. The guy's action was justified."

"I think Kazuya's at fault." Mikoto offered. "He should have cleared with Akane about that engagement. It could have been fake. Who knows? But if I were Kazuya, I would have directly clarified the issue with her. After all, Akane is my girlfriend and I completely trust her. Well, that's how I would think."

"And that was actually what happened. The engagement turned out to be a promotional tool to hype their tandem for the upcoming movie. Apparently, the management had forbidden the two to tell a single soul that the engagement was fake. So technically, Akane could not divulge it yet to Kazuya during that time."

"Darn! That must have hurt! Akane must be so broken!" Mai gasped.

"Yeah, to think that she never really cheated and remained faithful to Kazuya." Mikoto commented. "That's like punch in the gut."

"Can't blame the guy though, I would have done what he had. As it was, an engagement was announced. How do you expect him to react?" Nao shrugged her shoulders.

"Akane told him the truth that it was just a fake one with her manager confirming it. But Kazuya had already crossed the line. Now, realizing what he had done, he is trying to win back Akane. But the latter was obviously devastated and hurt. So, the question now is does he deserve a second chance?" Chie asked wittily.

"Tough question, hmm…" Mai thought deeply.

"It is…" Aoi agreed.

"I guess he deserves a second chance." Everybody suddenly looked at the owner of that husky voice. It was Natsuki who broke her silence and joined in. "He was clearly at fault, yes. I won't deny it. But he was certainly regretting his actions by trying to win her back."

Everyone silently considered Natsuki's thoughts when another voice broke the silence.

"Trust takes years to build and seconds to break. And once that trust is broken, it would take _forever_ to repair." Shizuru voiced out her opinion however her scarlet eyes zoned in on those emerald eyes staring back at her. "I don't see any reason why Akane should still trust Kazuya. She should just forget about him and move on." Shizuru spoke seriously.

"But Akane appears to still have feelings for the guy. If you love someone, you will forgive no matter what." Natsuki insisted.

"And if you _truly_ love someone…" Shizuru slammed her hand hard on the table, glaring at Natsuki. "…you will _not_ betray her, you will _never_ hurt her." The brunette hissed each and every word, her scarlet eyes turning darker. The others seemed to be in shock by the exchange between the two that they simply watched them mutely. Even the usually nasty redhead kept her mouth shut.

Natsuki felt like those words were meant for her, seeing as how enraged the brunette was. She felt a tight knot in her stomach watching those scarlet eyes blazing with anger.

Natsuki sighed miserably. "It was just a one mistake. A mistake he deeply regretted. Would you simply just end things with that one mistake?"

"Ara, one mistake you say?" The brunette was seething with anger. "Be it one mistake, two mistakes, five, ten, twenty, you cannot change the fact that a mistake is a mistake. Kazuya doubted her. He did not trust her. He did not believe in her. He was _selfish_. He only cared for his own happiness." _Just like you Natsuki, you did not trust me. You doubted my love for you. You only care about yourself. _

Natsuki looked at her with a resigned expression. "We sometimes hurt the ones we love not because it was our intention but because we have our_ own weaknesses_. Kazuya had done what he did because he was hurting. He thought that he had been betrayed."

"Are you implying his revenge is justified?" Shizuru stood up, glaring at Natsuki.

"I'm only saying he has his weaknesses." Natsuki also stood up without breaking eye contact with the brunette. _Just like me, Shizuru. Just like me. _

"Then Akane's weakness is loving Kazuya. Her love for him would be _her downfall_." _Just like me, Natsuki. Just like me._

The five were left speechless, watching the two of them in heated argument. Both Aoi and Mai were giving Chie the signal to butt in but Chie was eye-pointing to the redhead to be the mediator. Nao shook her head, eye-pointing back to Chie. Mikoto nudged Chie to make a move before things turned even messier. Chie sighed then looked at the two ex-lovers.

"Err… guys, this is still Akane and Kazuya we're talking about right?" She asked innocently and _dumbly_.

Mai face-palmed herself. Mikoto dropped her head on the table. Aoi made a face at her girlfriend. Nao rolled her eyes. _IDIOT! _they all winced it. Give it to Chie to make things even more complicated!

"Of course." Shizuru responded, somehow calming down a bit and regaining her composure. "This is definitely…" She looked at Natsuki straight in the eye. "…about them."

_No, this is about us. _Both Natsuki and Shizuru thought sadly.

Shizuru excused herself afterwards, wanting some alone time. She decided to take a walk to ease her mind off a certain raven-haired woman. However, the more she tried to avoid thinking about her, the more her mind seemed not to cooperate. She lost track of time until she realized it was getting darker and decided to head back to the cottage. However, her feet ended up bringing her to the same spot she had been on earlier. She sat again and stared out in the vast open space illuminated by the fullness of the moon.

A loud sigh escaped her lips as she tipped her head forward to see her reflection in the water. Her own watery reflection was staring right back at her until the shape shifted and her mind seemed to form Haruka and Yukino's hazy features as she recalled last night's conversation with them.

"_What are you so afraid of, Shizuru?" The blonde spoke bluntly as she was leisurely sipping green tea on the brunette's couch. Yukino and Haruka agreed to come over as soon as the brunette got home. Shizuru spilled the beans to her two best buddies and kind of regretted it with how Haruka was lecturing her now._

"_Tch. Isn't it obvious? I'm afraid… to fall for her again. What if she leaves me again? She broke me before. She could easily break me again." _

"_Then so be it!" Haruka blurted loudly and sharply. "So be it Shizuru. Because for me, I would rather love and be hurt than to never love again." _

_Shizuru was left dumbfounded with such a bold statement she almost dropped the cup she was holding. Those words were more than enough to give her goosebumps. True, it was a reckless action but never a reckless decision. _

"_Call me stupid but I will always believe in the power of love. Love will conquer all even the most hurting human being in the world. Love will heal. Love will forgive." _

_Yukino also joined and shared her two cents. "What if this time she would never leave you? What if this time, instead of breaking you, she would complete you? What if this time would be that perfect moment? Would you let it slip away? Are your uncertainties greater than your love for her? Are your fears bigger than your dreams? Is your past more important than your future? Is your heartache worth more than another shot of happiness? You're an intelligent woman, Shizuru. Only you would know the answers to these questions." _

"_Bubuzuke! I can't believe you can be this… what's the word? Ah, coward!" Haruka cocked her head arrogantly, smirking at her. _

"_There is a thin line between caution and cowardice." Yukino smiled at the brunette timidly. "You'll be fine Shizuru. You'll be fine."_

Shizuru leaned back and closed her eyes, replaying those words in her mind. _'I'd rather love and be hurt than never to love again huh…' If only this would be easy, if only I could completely trust again, if only my heart is not hurting, I would have done so._

"Natsuki…" Shizuru unconsciously mumbled what or rather who was occupying her mind until she was brought back to reality when two strong arms enveloped her from behind. Even before she could open her eyes, she already knew who was holding her captive. She would never forget that toned figure pressed against her body, the smell of green apple as her nose caught the scent of freshly shampooed raven silky hair. It was so intoxicating to be held by the person she loved the most if only she was not hurting.

Natsuki was worried sick ever since the brunette excused herself. She tried to follow but Mai held her back suggesting to give Shizuru some time to think for herself. Reluctantly, she agreed. However, it had been six hours already and the sun had set yet the brunette was nowhere to be seen. The others also went out to find the brunette but no luck as yet. She was panicking and thought the brunette must have left without a word when she found someone's silhouette sitting at the far-end of the footbridge. She shortened the distance in silent but quick strides and relief washed over her as she recognized Shizuru.

She was contented to simply watch her from afar, admire the beauty that once belonged to her and absorb every inch of her pretty features. However, the longing she had been trying to ignore resurfaced in full force as she heard the woman of her dreams speaking her name for the first time in forever. She had lost her self-control as she rushed towards the unsuspecting brunette.

"I'm here." Natsuki whispered softly to her ears as she held the brunette tighter into her arms, her chin resting at the crook of Shizuru's neck. Shizuru stiffened at the contact, her mind racing, her heart beating fast.

"Let go off me." Shizuru was gritting her teeth as she spoke those words with so much pain and hatred. She struggled against those powerful arms encircling her. Tears started to prick at the corner of her eyes betraying the bitter words that left her mouth.

"Shizuru…" She muttered pleadingly and agonizingly yet her arms remained strong and steadfast. Natsuki's husky voice calling out the brunette's name as if she was in so much pain brought yet another stab in Shizuru's heart. It was so painful to hear. It was suffocating her. It was infuriating her. She wanted to rant at her, yell at her, scream at her, mock her, question her, insult her, hurt her, curse her, put all the blame on her, vent out her anger at her. Natsuki had no right to feel this much pain when she was the one who decided to leave her. _You left me Natsuki. I am the one who suffered. I am the one in pain. I am the one hurting. So please stop acting like you are one. _

"I said let me go." Shizuru's strong accent was now filled with fury and resentment. She brought her hands on those toned arms and tried her best to pry them open to set her free. She had only stopped struggling as small droplets of water started falling into her prying hands and the body hugging her was shaking uncontrollably. "I'm sorry…" Natsuki faintly whispered in between sobs. "I'm really sorry Shizuru…"

Shizuru bit back a whimper that tried to escape her lips as she blinked back the tears that threatened to fall in those ruby eyes. She had absolutely hated these words. These were the same exact words that Natsuki could only offer her when she left her. These words of apologies were nothing short of empty words that were only meant to be said to alleviate her of her suffering when nothing seemed to be right. These words only serve to aggravate her making her feel even more vulnerable.

She dropped her hands to her side as she watched those continuous water droplets now falling into her lap. She inhaled deeply before trusting her words not to croak. "Too bad. You are… two years too late." _The Shizuru who loved you unconditionally, the Shizuru who completely trusted you – you already killed her two years ago, Natsuki. _"two years too late, Natsuki." Shizuru could not hold back anymore as she let the floodgates opened and her scarlet eyes were bleeding with unfiltered tears that streamed her cheeks.

She really loved Natsuki. She knew she_ still_ loved Natsuki. And yet she could not be the same person who loved Natsuki without restrictions. She could not be the same reckless person who blindly followed her heart in all directions. After all, Shizuru was only human, a human capable of being hurt, capable of being broken, capable of developing defense mechanism to protect herself from feeling suffering again.

"Please… give me a second chance…" Natsuki failed miserably in controlling her sobs as tears freely fall unrestrictedly into Shizuru's lap. "Please hear me out. Let me explain." Shizuru's heart was getting conflicted by the minute. She had badly wanted to reach out to her, to coax her, stop her from crying console her, anything to make her feel better. It always pained her to hear the helplessness and brokenness in that husky voice. However, the voice of doubt and the voice of anguish prevented her from reaching out.

"Explain why you left?" Shizuru spat with sarcasm, her hands closing into fists. "You already did two years ago. You must have realized by then that you fell out of love or more correctly, you were never in love. Shame on me for being a fool." Shizuru laughed mirthlessly as she wiped her tear-stained cheeks with the back of her hand.

"No. No. That's not true." Natsuki held her even tighter if that was even possible. "Shizuru I… I have always loved…"

"Stop it. I don't want to hear." Shizuru cut her off.

"Please, Shizuru… listen…" Natsuki begged.

"Why do you have to come back? Can't you see? I'm totally fine without you." She lied.

"But I am not." Natsuki screamed. "I am not fine without you Shizuru. I_ need_ you."

"No more lies from you, please." This time, Shizuru was able to break free from the vice grip hold of the raven-haired woman as she stood up and faced a devastated Natsuki on her knees.

Her ruby eyes were now glaring daggers at the very woman she had looked on with love. "You…" Tears again started falling hard on her face as she repeatedly beat her chest with her hand. "…are the reason for my suffering. Never forget that. And because of you," Shizuru exhaled resignedly, the back of her hand flying to wipe her tears again "…I cannot trust myself to love again." Her emotions were completely overwhelming her that she decided it was best to leave and walk away.

However Natsuki wasn't giving up on her that easily as she caught the brunette's wrist and pulled Shizuru towards her until they were face to face with each other. She held both Shizuru's hands into hers and looked deeply into those glaring scarlet eyes. Natsuki's emerald eyes were blazing with intensity. "Then I'll be your reason for your happiness. I will be your reason to love again."

Shizuru shook her head as she pulled away her hands. "You're delusional." She again turned around but Natsuki stopped her, forcing the brunette to face her.

"I'm serious Shizuru. I mean it." Natsuki again held her hands into hers, kissing them as if her life depended on them.

Shizuru pulled away. "How? What powers do you have to stop me from hurting? To remove this pain that's crippling me, killing me? How would you do that if you are the cause?" Shizuru jabbed at Natsuki's chest. She looked straight at those emerald eyes as she pleaded. "Enough Natsuki, please? Enough…"

"No, I'm not giving up on you this time Shizuru. Doubt me all you want. Blame me all you want. Hurt me all you want. Mock me all you want. Slap me all you want. I will accept all your pain. I will accept all your vengeance. I will accept whatever you throw at me just please…" Natsuki wiped the stubborn tears on her face. "…allow me to be part of your life again. Allow me to replace the pain I've caused you with happiness. Allow me to love you again." Natsuki knew that Shizuru was more than justified with her actions but she would not stop in trying to make amends with the brunette. She had hurt her, betrayed her trust and completely abandoned her. But she was willing to spend the rest of her life correcting her mistake if that was what it would take for Shizuru to forgive her.

But Shizuru was even more stubborn. "Didn't you hear me? Enough is enough. Stop wasting your time. We're over. Goodbye Natsuki." She spoke with finality as she pulled away again and this time, Natsuki did not stop her.

Shizuru walked away with a heavy heart, tears glistening in those scarlet eyes. She finally did it. She rejected Natsuki with finality. She had ended what could have been another love story with a happy ending. And there was no returning back. She could only move forward to a future without Natsuki, just like how it was two years ago. And that was how it should be. And that should stay that way.

Natsuki watched her go, getting further away from her. Her reason for living. Her continued existence. Her reason she fought so hard to live again was slowly moving away where her hands would not reach her. She had faced the Grim Reaper, battled with it and survived its curse believing that she'd one day be reunited with Shizuru again. But now, her world was slowly falling apart. Her past mistake was apparently a giant obstacle she could not overcome, a big barrier she could not jump over. She was coming undone.

But Natsuki would rather die trying than to give up. She had already come this far and she just had to push herself past those limits. She had to constantly try until the walls of insecurities that Shizuru had built would crumble down. She had to make up for those two years of silence. Grasping her last stroke of determination, she breathed deeply.

"I know you still love me Shizuru. I know you do." Natsuki spoke silently but loud enough for the brunette to hear. Shizuru suddenly stopped midway, her heart getting constricted from the revelation. Natsuki slowly walked towards her, halting a step a distance away from the brunette.

"Believe whatever you want to believe."

Even before Shizuru had the chance to resume walking, Natsuki again grabbed her by the arm and turned her around facing her. Their faces were inches away from each other.

"Then tell me." Natsuki half-pleaded half-commanded. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore." Tears were unabashedly falling down on those scarlet and emerald eyes.

Shizuru was shaking now, her hands clasped near her chest. "I…" Natsuki eagerly awaited for her response, her hands never leaving the brunette's arms, her emerald eyes were searching.

Shizuru completely broke down as she slumped her head on Natsuki's shoulders, crying her heart out. "I… hate you…" Shizuru hiccupped in between sobs. Natsuki instantly enveloped her into her arms protectively, holding her closer to her heart. "I hate you… leaving me." Natsuki's hand went to gently stroke those wavy brown hair, soothing the crying woman in her arms. "And I hate myself… for loving you." _For still loving you. Damn it Natsuki, I never stop loving you. _

"I'm sorry Shizuru. I'm really sorry." Natsuki whispered into her ears as she hugged her tighter. "But I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. You'll always have me. I love you Shizuru. I always do."

-x-

A/N: Tissue anyone? Whew. That was a lot of… drama. But it's necessary. After all, Shizuru was hurt and she deserved justice. Andddd, thank you everyone for the reviews, follows and favorites. Hey Hookedonreading, happy? Lol. Thanks for such flattery! But bribe me no more. I might not be able to keep up the frequent updates. Sorry. (Blame Naruto and Luffy). But fear not, I'd still maintain one chapter update a month.


	5. Promise me

**Chapter 5 – Promise me**

_December 18, 2017_

It was the day before Shizuru's birthday and Natsuki had called in their friends to help her throw a surprise birthday party for her girlfriend. Fortunately, the chestnut-haired beauty was busy having an extended meeting in her company and some commercial shooting until after dawn thus giving the raven-haired woman all the time she needed to prepare their house.

_Ding dong_

Natsuki quickly hid the small blue box in her leather jacket as she heard the doorbell ringing. Glancing at her wrist watch which glowed eight o'clock in the evening, she smirked at her friend's punctuality. Must be Mai, she thought to herself. She stood up from her couch heading towards the front door. But even before she reached it, a loud banging from the front door echoed along the hallways causing little angry veins to pop on Natsuki's forehead. _Definitely NOT MAI!_

"Oi, oi Kuga! Faster get your lazy butt over here, mutt! Ya hear me?" The familiar snappy comment with the simultaneous rapping on the door made Natsuki walk briskly.

"Shut up, you annoying spider!" Natsuki spat angrily as soon as she opened the door. "I'm not surprised if they can hear you all the way up to the pent house and all the way down to the lobby!" She shook her head while narrowing her eyes at the grinning redhead. They were on the seventh floor in a 30-story high rise condo tower in Tokyo.

"Gee, what a lovely greeting you have there, Na-chan!" Nao teased as she made her way inside not waiting for any invitation. She comfortably sat on the red velvet reclining chair, resting her arms on the armrests. Then glancing at the cobalt-haired woman, she spoke in an alluring voice mimicking the owner of the said reclining chair. "Ara, Nat-su-ki? What are you waiting for? Come here and join~"

Lime green eyes grew wide in shock. Before Nao could react, a flying memory foam pillow went straight to her face completely shutting her up.

"I told you to shut up, idiot!" Natsuki hissed as her cheeks were tinted with red.

There was that one time in school that Shizuru and Natsuki thought they were alone in the classroom and the brunette seductively persuaded the embarrassed Natsuki to come sit on her lap. Her heart on her throat, she mechanically walked towards her girlfriend only to freeze in her tracks when the sound of a phone finishing a video record caught their attention. Jerking their heads on the slightly opened classroom door, Chie was grinning with delight while waving her phone whereas Nao had her arms across her chest and was shaking her head disapprovingly as if saying 'Tsk tsk tsk naughty girls'. Up until now whenever possible, the two troublemakers would always re-enact that captured moment to Natsuki's growing humiliation.

A groan escaped behind that pillow. "Ugh, you vile brutal savage mutt! That hurts like heck ya know?" The redhead pulled the pillow away from her face as she glared menacingly at the grinning raven-haired woman.

Being a magnificent sharp shooter, Natsuki took advantage of her skills adding a bit of speed to gain the desired momentum thus hitting the redhead square in the face. _Ha, serves you right BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!_

The redhead suddenly stood up and threw the said pillow with all her might. Natsuki, expecting the attack effortlessly eluded the attack as she ducked down. Right at that moment, Chie had arrived and walked inside seeing the open door only to be greeted by the flying pillow in the face. As the intruding object slowly fell on the floor, a sinister-looking Chie threw dagger eyes at the two as she dropped the supplies she was carrying on the floor.

_OOPS!_

Being in close proximity, Natsuki instantly backed away to the far corner of the living room while Nao armored herself with another pillow ready to defend or attack as necessary. Chie was deliberately playing the pillow in her hand as she glanced left and right gauging between the two the easier target to begin with.

"So, who wants to die first?" She asked melodiously opposite to the meaning of her words. Seeing that Natsuki was more defenseless with no pillow in her hand, she faced her while raising her brows challengingly.

"Oi, oi, oi, that stupid Nao hit you, not me!" Natsuki spoke as she warily moved away from the advancing bespectacled woman.

"Oh yeah? Is that true?" She asked rhetorically. "But from the start, isn't this pillow supposed to be targeting you and not me?"

From the side, Nao was cackling boisterously as she watched the two circle each other. True enough, it was her fault these two were ready for a kill. _But who cares? As long as the target's not me! _

As soon as she finished that thought, it was again too late to process what happened next. Pain again registered in her face as something must have hit her. Apparently, Chie purposely targeted the raven-haired woman only to wait for an opportunity for the redhead to be complacent and let her guard down.

"Oh yeah! Bull's eye!" Chie cheered as she high-fived with the laughing Natsuki. While the two were cheering, Nao was so angered she gathered all the pillows and started throwing them at both Chie and Natsuki. In the middle of the heated pillow-fight, Aoi and Mikoto arrived and joined in on the mess after being hit on their faces as well. The five of them were all focused on the game they hadn't realized the presence of an ominous force standing in the front door until an angry voice echoed, making them halt whatever they were doing.

"KIDS!" Mai shouted in a loud, stern voice. "WHAT THE FREAKING CRAP ARE YOU ALL DOING!?" She then glared at each one in turn, glowering at the huge mess in the living room. Shoving her orange-haired head, she clicked her tongue while shaking her head.

The five troublemakers were trying their hardest to control their bubbling laughter despite Mai's enraged behavior. Being the motherly figure of the group, Mai had learned to be the one taking charge particularly in situations like this.

"What else are you all staring at?" She spat suddenly causing all five to stand up straighter. "We don't have all day! Get to work NOW! Who knows, Shizuru might come home earlier than we expect."

"Hai!" Everybody simultaneously answered as each one started working on their assigned tasks. Chie and Aoi were tasked to prepare a birthday video greeting for Shizuru as well as the set-up of video recorder in the living room. Nao, Natsuki and Mikoto were all assigned to put up decors and banners as well as rearranging the some furniture as necessary. Mai had the whole kitchen to herself as had been the norm.

For almost two hours, all of them worked hard with minimal interruption. Chie and Aoi proudly announced that they were almost done with the video and would soon set-up the camcorder in the living room. The trio were also done rearranging the furniture and Natsuki had yet to put up the banners. Mai also called out from the kitchen saying that dinner would be done in ten minutes.

Natsuki grabbed the banner saying 'Happy Birthday Shizuru. I love you.' and stood up in a chair to plaster it on the wall when suddenly she felt her world spinning and her heart constricted she could not breathe properly. Blinking her emerald eyes, she tried to breathe through her mouth gasping for air however, the discomfort in her chest only grew further. She tried to stay still however, the lack of oxygen made her feel more lightheaded that she was wobbling on top of the chair she was standing on.

"Watch out!" Nao shouted as she ran towards the falling raven-haired woman. At the last second, Natsuki found her balance and steadied herself on the chair. Grinning weakly, she slowly eased herself down and sat on the chair she had stood on. Everyone suddenly looked alarmed as they stared at her pale, sweaty face.

"The heck stupid mutt! Don't give us a scare like that!" Nao reprimanded as she leveled her face to Natsuki's. As silence ensued, the redhead seriously became worried. Natsuki had her hand on her chest, as if breathing itself had become a tedious task. "Hey, are you okay Natsuki?" She asked worriedly. Mikoto also came forward, curiously watching the two of them. Both Aoi and Chie also stood up, concern palpable on their faces.

Smirking, Natsuki lightly pounded Nao's head. "Tsk, of course I am." She responded. "Just… just excited for Shizuru's party I didn't get enough sleep." She reasoned lamely but the others were not buying it as they continued to stare at her. Evading their worried glances, she stood up and excused herself to get a glass of water.

On her way to the kitchen, the pounding inside her head would not stop as well as the rapid thundering of heartbeat inside her chest. As soon as she reached the kitchen, Mai looked up on her with a big smile on her face as she carried a bowl of ramen she had just finished cooking. But as soon as she saw raven-haired woman, the large bowl in her hand slipped away as she ran towards the fainting Natsuki. Just in time, she was able to break Natsuki's fall catching her in her arms even before the latter hit the ground.

With the loud commotion happening, the four in the living room also rushed in the kitchen and found Mai lightly tapping the unconscious Natsuki in her arms. All of them felt paralyzed as they watched Natsuki's face quickly draining in color.

"Call Yohko!" Mai instructed as she forced herself to calm down and feel Natsuki's wrist. To her unease, it was very faint and almost slowing down. Jerking her head towards the four, she again blurted out. "I said call Yohko NOW!"

Chie snapped out of her shock and dialed the doctor's number emphasizing its urgency. Meanwhile, the others helped Mai carry Natsuki to her bedroom and lay her down. As they lifted her up, the small blue box dropped on the floor from her leather jacket. Apparently, the moment Natsuki feared the most was happening in the most unexpected circumstance.

-x-

It was already one in the morning when Natsuki stirred up from her deep slumber. Heaving a long sigh, she wiped the little beads of sweat in her forehead as she sat up on her bed. Migraine was building inside of her that it was hard to focus on anything. A groan escaped her lips alerting the two people in the kitchen.

As she glanced up, she was met by Mai whose large amethyst eyes were red and puffy. Her emerald eyes then moved to Mai's companion. It was Yohko, her doctor. Confusion clouded her mind as to why her doctor would be here when in a flash, she had recalled everything that had happened earlier. She inwardly cursed as she closed her emerald eyes.

There was a moment of silence as Mai and Yohko continued to stare at her. Natsuki then sighed deeply as her emerald eyes settled on both of them, particularly at Mai.

"I assume you now know…" She trailed off.

"Oh Natsuki!" Mai could not anymore control her emotions as she ran towards the sitting woman and hugged her fiercely, burying her face on Natsuki's shoulders. Tears started falling uncontrollably in her eyes as she cried her heart out. "H-how could you… how could you do this to us, Natsuki?" Mai complained in between sobs.

It was heartbreaking.

A single tear slowly rolled down Natsuki's cheeks at Mai's pained voice. The secret she was keeping from everyone including Shizuru was finally revealed and she felt like everything was now falling into pieces.

"What else is there to say…" She said rhetorically as she buried her face in her palms. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and her heart was being crushed into million pieces as Mai continued to cry in anguish.

"Unfair…" Mai spoke agonizingly. "This is so unfair, Natsuki."

Natsuki patted Mai's head. "I'm sorry Mai. I'm sorry that you have to know all this… nonsense." She whispered sadly as she blinked back the tears welling up in her eyes.

Mai suddenly pulled back to stare at Natsuki. "W-what are you talking about?" She asked in disbelief. "So you never plan to tell us anything… at all!?"

Silence emanated between them as Natsuki's emerald eyes focused on anything but Mai.

"Damn it Natsuki! All this time…" Mai wiped her stubborn tears with the back of her hand. "All this time, I thought we are all a family!" She yelled furiously as she gripped Natsuki's shoulders.

Her body was shaking in both anger and frustration as she looked at the silent raven-haired woman. Mai could not believe that Natsuki didn't even consider them as a family. Family should be one's support and strength especially in dire situations. Family was supposed to be one's strong backbone particularly in times of struggle. Family should be there through thick and thin.

_Isn't that what a family is supposed to be? Supporting each other no matter the situation?_

Apparently, Mai was sorely mistaken. Unfortunately, they were not important enough for the raven-haired woman to share her secrets with. They were not worthy enough to know the truth about her health condition. Truth be told, Natsuki never viewed them as a family.

Mai resignedly dropped her hands to her side as she backed away from her friend. "Well… I guess now I know…" She spoke. "Now I know what we _truly_ meant to you." She nodded her head as she tried to fight back the tears that welled up inside her eyes. "Apparently, we are _nothing_ to you, Natsuki." A look of hurt flashed across Mai's face as she proceeded to stand up.

"No…" Natsuki shook her head as she held Mai's arm effectively halting her. "That's not true…" She whispered pleadingly. Sad emerald eyes stared at those melancholic amethyst eyes.

"You are all… a family to me." Natsuki admitted in a strained voice. "You, Mikoto, Chie, Aoi, even that nasty Nao" She smiled weakly. "…and of course Shizuru. You are all that I have." She paused as she took in a deep breath. "You are all important to me. And I would be forever grateful to have all of you."

Mai put her hand on top of Natsuki's. "Then why Natsuki?" Mai choked back the tears. "Why wouldn't you tell us? Why do you have to hide _this_ from us? Why must you carry this burden all by yourself?" Mai was so overwhelmed that she slumped on the floor as she buried her face on Natsuki's lap. "We are here… for you. Don't push us away. Please… please Natsuki."

"If only it's that easy…" Natsuki bit her lip. "Trust me Mai, I would have told all of you. But that's not the case."

Mai looked up to meet her gaze. "W-what do you mean?"

"I'm dying." Natsuki's voice broke. She couldn't anymore hold back her tears as the floodgates had finally opened. Mai was too stunned with the news that she staggered backward and fell on the floor. She shakily covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the sobs wanting to escape her lips.

For a while, the two of them allowed the tears in their eyes to speak what they were feeling. Emotions were high. Words would not even be enough to express the overwhelming sorrow reigning in their hearts. As Natsuki glanced at Mai, she knew Mai deserved an explanation. Bracing herself, she had to re-live the pain in order to tell her the truth.

"Mai, I'm dying. My time is slowly ticking away…" She exhaled deeply. "The first time I heard about my sickness, everything hurts. My head felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode any minute. My heart… it felt as if there were thousand knives stabbing my heart over and over again. My body crumbled at the weight and gravity of that drastic news." She briefly paused to wipe her tear-stained cheek.

"This daily struggle… it was almost unbearable knowing my life is slowly slipping away, knowing I won't be with the people I love for much longer, knowing my time is limited. Each day I live was both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing to know I still have that little time I could spend with everyone. At the same time, it was a curse knowing anytime could be my last breath. This is too much suffering. There is too much pain." Natsuki slowly got up from her bed and reached out to Mai. "That is why I keep this little secret to myself. I don't want any of you to suffer because of me. That is how important you all are to me."

Mai was still in a state of shock. She was shaking badly while Natsuki helped her to stand up. Yohko assisted them then brought in two glasses of water, putting it on the nearby desk. Upon seeing the doctor, Mai instantly grabbed her arm.

"Yohko, please. Tell me you can do something!" She begged her. "Please, save Natsuki! You're a doctor right? Please, DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING!" Mai was already yelling as she gripped Yohko's arm hardly. She was losing her grip as her mind couldn't accept the reality.

It took Natsuki a moment before she was able to release Mai's steely grasp from her doctor. She embraced her devastated friend firmly running her hand on the small of Mai's back. "I'm sorry Mai. But there is nothing that can be done. Nothing can _save_ me."

"I…" Mai hiccupped. "I'm sorry Natsuki… I wish, I wish there is something I can do…"

"Shhh…." Natsuki continued to rub soothing circles at Mai's back. "Don't apologize. It's me who has to apologize to you Mai. I'm sorry for putting you through all this trouble."

"Actually…" Yohko started. "There is something we can do."

At those words, Mai jerked her head at the doctor, pulling herself away from Natsuki and focusing her full attention at Yohko. "What? Tell me."

Yohko hesitated seeing Natsuki shaking her head. Mai followed the doctor's line of sight then frowned at her friend. "What is it Natsuki?"

She sighed as she shoved her raven hair. "That is hopeless Mai. Please don't give her false hope Yohko."

"If only you'll listen to me Natsuki." Yohko insisted.

"Enough!" Natsuki screamed angrily. "Didn't you specifically tell me there is only five to ten per cent chance of surviving? In other words, there is a freaking big, big, big possibility of me still dying. So what's the point of going through all this mess?"

Finally understanding the situation, Mai walked towards her and cupped Natsuki's cheeks, looking deeply into those emerald eyes. "Hope is the point of going through all this mess. Be it five per cent, four, two, one or even less than one per cent Natsuki, it still meant a chance of surviving. There is still that smallest glimmer of hope and you have to fight for it." Mai wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Please Natsuki, don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on us."

After a while, she smiled encouragingly when she saw Natsuki bobbing her head in agreement finally giving in to Yohko's suggestion.

Mai then glanced at Yohko. "What do we have to do?"

"Three days from now, an agent from Searrs will fly to America. She is my close friend and I can make the necessary arrangement for Natsuki to go with her. Once she's in LA, my friend will take care of everything. I just need a confirmation so I could call her now."

As Natsuki processed that information, her resolve suddenly wavered. Her emerald eyes then focused on the small blue box now resting on night stand beside her bed.

"Natsuki?" Yohko called.

"Natsuki?" Mai also called. Only when Mai touched her arm did she get her attention. "Are you okay Natsuki?"

She briefly looked at Mai. "I'm fine." She lied. Glancing back to Yohko, she asked. "How about after Christmas?"

"You're getting worse and it will only worsen the longer you delay it. I'm sorry but it cannot be after Christmas."

She again glanced back at the blue box and her heart clenched in misery. She walked towards the night stand and held the box in her hand. She promised herself she would fulfill Shizuru's wish this Christmas by proposing to her. She even went the trouble of designing the hearts-on-fire ring and had it done and shipped to her before Christmas. Now that it had finally arrived, the ironic thing was that she wouldn't be able to give it to Shizuru if she were to leave three days from now.

Mai, noticing the Natsuki's conflicted emotions, placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "I'm sure Shizuru will understand. Just tell her."

After some deep thinking, she slowly turned around and faced Mai. "Promise me, you'll _never_ tell her. Please, Shizuru doesn't need to know."

Mai's eyes widened in shock. "What!? Are you crazy?"

Natsuki shoved her silky raven hair in frustration. "I don't want to hurt her…"

"You are _already_ hurting her by keeping this from her. She needs to know."

"What for?" She asked impatiently. "The truth will only hurt Shizuru even more, knowing there is nothing she can do for me. She doesn't deserve to feel my suffering. She doesn't need to know of my struggles. She doesn't have to sacrifice everything just for my sake. I will own up my pain. I will carry this burden myself. So please Mai, let me protect Shizuru from myself. She means so much to me. I love her so much. That's why you have to promise me... your silence."

Mai could only stare at her in disbelief. "So how do you plan on telling her that you are leaving?"

With a heavy heart, Natsuki hid the blue box inside her pocket then met Mai's gaze.

"I'll break up with her."

-x-

A/N: Happy New Year! Sorry for the long delay. Totally forgot I have ongoing fics. Anyway, I'm back! So, I wonder who suffered more? Was it Shizuru when Natsuki broke up with her? Or was it Natsuki when she hid the truth from Shizuru? As always, thank you. Cheers!


	6. Best Birthday Gift

**Chapter 6 – Best birthday gift**

A/N: Yep, I hear you guys. Early valentines gift to y'all! Well, just sharing some song inspirations in doing this chapter. Feel free to listen as you read: Uninvited by Alanis Morissette and I'll Never Love This Way Again by Dionne Warwick. Enjoy.

-x-

_6:00AM December 19, 2017_

_This is it. _

Natsuki slapped her face with both her hands a few times trying to divert her attention from the negative thoughts plaguing her mind to focus rather on her girlfriend's surprise birthday party. In two hours, Mai and others would be coming by for some last minute preparations before Shizuru arrived. However, her thoughts kept on circling on the conversation she had with Mai just hours earlier.

"What? You'll break up with her!?" Mai repeated exasperatingly, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Are you out of your mind!?" She paced back and forth trying to calm herself lest she would lash out rough words at her.

She could understand that Natsuki wanted to spare Shizuru of the harsh truth but Shizuru was not a kid who needed protection. For effing's sake, Shizuru was Natsuki's partner! She deserved to know _everything_ that was happening to Natsuki no matter how difficult or painful the situation was. If there was someone who should know all the more, it should have been Shizuru because they were committed to each other. And to make matters worse, Natsuki wasn't only planning on hiding the truth about her health condition but she also planned on breaking up with her. This was just horribly painful.

_This is unbelievable! This is crap! _Mai was beyond herself as she glared angrily at Natsuki. "How could you do this to Shizuru, huh Natsuki?"

What should one say when there was no right answer to a million-dollar question? Silence. Natsuki could only offer silence as she looked away from those blazing amethyst eyes. _Do I even have a choice? _Natsuki wanted to retort back but bit her lip before words tumble out of her mouth. There was no use arguing anyway. She had made up her mind and her decision was final. After all, nothing that her friend would say could change her mind.

Mai sighed loudly in frustration. She had to think to convince her to reconsider. She knew it was up to her to save their relationship from the brink of destruction. Inhaling deeply, she composed herself as she walked towards her and held both her hands in her own. Her amethyst eyes were now pleading as she looked into those pitiful emerald eyes.

"Please, you don't have do this. Both of you would just end up hurting and suffering." Tears again ran down her cheeks and she swallowed hard before continuing. "…Just tell her the truth and give her a chance to fight this battle _together_ with you. You don't have to own this burden by yourself. You have Shizuru. She loves you so much. I know that you know that."

Natsuki bit her lip shakily as those words hit a raw nerve. She held back those tears. The pain in her heart was unrivalled to the point she badly wished she would be numb so she wouldn't have to feel. Shizuru was her world. She was her lifeline. She was her salvation. Unfortunately, time was a cheater. Time was liar. It was ticking noisily. It was counting down. And soon enough, it would slow down and finally stop moving when her time was up.

"It's better this way." Natsuki whispered sadly. Unconsciously, her hand reached to her heart. "Sooner or later, I would have to let her go anyway… with my condition worsening. In the end, I'll have to say _goodbye_."

It was silly of her to think that she would have enough time to fulfill Shizuru's wish before she even had to say goodbye. The first time she was diagnosed with congestive cardiomyopathy a few months ago, her mind suddenly turned blank as if her world had just collapsed. It was a disorder affecting the heart muscle resulting to insufficient supply of oxygenated blood throughout the body. At the early stages, Natsuki wasn't showing any symptoms of the said condition until lately where she began to have difficulty in breathing, chest discomfort and dizziness. It was a progressive disease that could worsen over time especially if it remained untreated.

This kind of sickness had poor prognosis with very little percentage of patients surviving longer than two years. Her initial medical check-up showed that she would probably be able to live two to three years max. But with the recent events transpiring, Natsuki's health condition eventually deteriorated faster than a speeding bullet. She was experiencing breathlessness multiple times as if her chest was getting constricted.

As it turned out after her last check-up, her heart was working poorly than expected and Yohko was not liking this. It was the first time she had seen a patient with this condition worsening in just a span of three months. Unfortunate as it was, she had to let Natsuki know the truth that in a worst case scenario, she would only have three to six months to live.

Yohko was a famous cardiologist throughout Japan having worked in the US military base for few years before finally settling down in Tokyo, Japan. She had become associated with big names in the medical society having established her superb excellence and skills in the field of medicine. She had become involved as well with multi-billion top secret organizations having high-end facilities and advanced technologies to develop medicines against all types of incurable diseases.

Searrs organization was one of them. Yohko had worked for them for a year and she had already seen wonders on how Searrs was profoundly finding innovative treatments particularly to those with hopeless cases. Even when she was not working there anymore, she had kept in touch with Midori, a trusted and reliable redheaded colleague who visited her in Japan from time to time.

Be it fate or coincidence, Midori was having a medical conference in Japan for two days before flying back to America again. And Yohko instantly phoned her when she received the news that the redhead was in Japan. Without divulging any confidential matters, she had discussed with her the possibility of treating a very progressive congestive heart disease.

Having heard of this, Midori became excited. She was the type of person who loved challenges especially the hard ones. Until that moment, there was no known cure to cardiomyopathy. It could only be managed with some lifestyle changes and supporting medications but with a very progressive type of disease such as with Natsuki, one could only hope for a miracle.

Nonetheless, Midori was all the more thrilled to work on this new case despite her tons of workload when she got back home. After all, this favor came from her favorite person Yohko and she would never deny her of anything. She had of course discussed with her the mortality rate as well as the risks involved if they were to proceed with the treatment and Yohko promised to get back to her if the patient would agree to such terms and conditions.

And now, after finally having Natsuki's confirmation, she fished for her phone in her pocket and hit speed dial. In no time, Midori picked it up and Yohko had relayed the news that her patient finally agreed to continue her treatment in the Searrs facility in US.

Both Natsuki and Mai could hear the excitement on the other line upon hearing Yohko's voice. Either she was excited to hear the doctor's voice or she was thrilled to finally have the patient's confirmation, no one knew. However, one thing was noticeable – Yohko seemed to be very optimistic that Searrs would again transcend the medical boundaries and tap unlimited possibilities for serious cases like Natsuki's.

Mai felt relieved upon hearing Yohko's perspective. She looked at Natsuki with a small smile. "See? You have to believe that you will get well. So don't ever think of saying goodbye! There is hope."

However, the sentiments of the two wasn't shared by the raven-haired woman herself. She briefly glanced at Yohko who just finished her call before returning her gaze back to Mai. "Let's be real. I have ten per cent or worse, five per cent chance of surviving which meant I have ninety to ninety-five probability of dying." She paused as she gulped down a lump in her throat. Saying this felt as if she was closer to death than she really was. It was a torture.

"I'd rather let her go and forget me now than for my memories to haunt her forever. She would have to forget me. And soon enough, she would be able to find someone who will replace me." She choked back her tears as she said it. "She would live a happy life. She has to. Because that is what she deserves." Then glancing down at her trembling hands, "And as for me, I will be nothing but a nightmare of her past. A past she would not even remember."

Mai's heart was breaking into pieces listening to Natsuki. Tears again flooded her amethyst eyes just thinking about what Natsuki wanted to happen. It was a stupid and selfish decision in her opinion. Natsuki had already decided for both of them without giving Shizuru the chance to speak for herself. She was choosing to end their relationship on her assumption that the brunette would be able to move on and continue with her life even without Natsuki on it. Natsuki was so focused on ensuring the brunette's happiness that she failed to realize _she_ was Shizuru's happiness.

"Is _this_ what you really want, Natsuki?" Mai sincerely asked. She was there when things started between the two of them. She watched both of them fall in love, argue from time to time, reconcile and fall in love again. She watched both of them overcoming trials after trials, withstanding anything that came their way. As time flew by, she could feel their love for each other was getting deeper and stronger. And whenever she looked at them so happy and contented in each other's arms, she was convinced they would last forever. In her heart, she just knew it. Natsuki and Shizuru were made for each other.

So what happened to that? Where was the love that bonded them together through thick and thin? Wasn't _this _just another trial that they have to overcome? And since when did _forever_ become time-bound? _Natsuki, why are you giving up so easily? _

Natsuki was torn. Her mind wanted to say yes because that was the best of course of action given the worst case scenario. It would be for Shizuru's best interest that she had to say goodbye _now_ than make the brunette suffer from losing her forever. However, her heart wanted to say no because Shizuru was everything to her. Shizuru filled the void in her heart and replaced her loneliness with unending happiness. The brunette had done nothing but show how much she deeply loved her, be it through her words or actions. There was not a single moment where the brunette had failed to express her sincere affection to her – Shizuru saying 'I love you, Natsuki', Shizuru embracing her tenderly, Shizuru placing a soft kiss on her lips, Shizuru sweetly teasing her, Shizuru comforting her soothingly, Shizuru caressing her lovingly, Shizuru vowing to protect her with her own life.

She broke down as those memories flooded her. It was all too much for Natsuki to take. She wanted nothing more than just to be with Shizuru. She wanted to stay in Shizuru's life as long as she could. She wanted to remain in Shizuru's arms forever. And yet, these were nothing but her wishful thinking. She knew she had to let go of Shizuru. It was the only way to make her suffer less. She had to free Shizuru.

Mai enveloped her friend in her arms as Natsuki's bottled up emotions exploded unrestrictedly. She could feel the raw emotions surfacing as Natsuki screamed in pain and anguish. Watching Natsuki clutching her heart while grieving tore her apart. There was nothing she could do to make the heartache go away. There were no words to say that would pacify a broken person. However, she did the only thing she could do best – she held her and stayed by Natsuki's side.

It took a while before Natsuki's wailing turned into silent sniffles. As Natsuki glanced up at Mai, she spoke hoarsely. "Mai… you have to promise…" The orange-haired girl looked at her intently, eagerly waiting for her to continue. "if you see me backing out of my words…" Mai suddenly turned distraught. "…you have to force me." Her jaw dropped. _What the…? _

"Lend me your strength to do this." Her husky voice cracked. Her puffy green eyes were pleading. "I need to protect Shizuru, please. I beg you."

Mai was at a loss for words. Natsuki still wanted to push through with the break up despite the searing agony in her heart just thinking of losing Shizuru. She wanted to slap some sense to her friend honestly. She just couldn't comprehend Natsuki's actions. _Is Shizuru not worth the truth? _

"Natsuki…" Mai breathed deeply. "What's stopping you from telling Shizuru the truth? Do you think she would be grateful if you let her go? Do you honestly think she would be happier with someone else? Wake up from your illusions Natsuki. Shizuru is madly in love with you. There is no other for her except you."

"Mai!" Natsuki shouted deafeningly. Her eyes turned dark and scary. "Why can't you understand? Shizuru will suffer more if she would stay on with me. She would no doubt give up everything she had worked so hard just for my sake! She would lose all she has now just to attend to my medical needs. Can't you see? I'm just gonna hold her back from her dreams. I'm just a deadweight pulling her down from her goals. I will be nothing but a burden to her. And I'm not going to let that happen. I'm not gonna drag her down with me in the world of pain."

"You are the one _not_ understanding Natsuki." Mai insisted stubbornly despite Natsuki's outrage. "If I were Shizuru, no second thoughts, no questions asked – I would choose you even if that meant ruining my career and everything that's riding on it. I'll willingly give up _everything_ if it meant having you because Natsuki, you are worth _more_ than all other things combined. That's how important you are to Shizuru. If she means the world to you, then so are you to her. Shizuru's world is revolving around you and only to you."

Natsuki shook her head. "Put yourself in my situation. Would you enjoy seeing the one you love suffer just because of you? Would your guilt not eat you away whenever you see the struggles they have to face because of you?" Natsuki paused as she took a deep breath. _Soon enough, you all will get tired of me… Loving me would become a burden too much to carry. _

Mai wanted badly to disagree but Natsuki continued talking. "Mai, we could argue for hours and my decision would remain the same. S-Shizuru deserves nothing but happiness. And I could not give that happiness to her." She smiled weakly at her. "I'm sorry Mai. I know I'm asking too much from you." She inhaled deeply. "I guess… just this one… for the last time, promise me…" She held back the tears in her eyes. "…you'll look after Shizuru when I'm gone."

Her thoughts were disrupted as her phone vibrated loudly on the kitchen countertop bringing her back to reality. She dragged herself out of the couch and picked up the phone. Swiftly glancing at the caller, she unconsciously smiled as she pressed the green button to accept the call then walked back to slouch on the sofa again.

"Hey Shiz" She greeted warmly.

"Ara, ara." A melodious voice on the other side rang in Natsuki's ears. It was so sexy. Natsuki's heart already fluttered with just those words. "What a surprise! My darling sleepyhead is already up." She teased sweetly earning a loud snort from the raven-haired woman. Natsuki could clearly imagine the brunette chuckling beautifully, her crimson eyes swirling with mirth.

"I'm always such an early riser." She answered back with a laugh.

"Did you miss me?" Aww, Natsuki's heart thumped again. Of course she missed Shizuru like crazy! Oh and there she was, lying on the sofa grinning like an idiot as she held the phone in her ears. Times like this made Natsuki forget all the troubles and issues she was currently facing. It was as if hearing Shizuru's voice was enough to wash away all her worries in a blink of an eye.

"I miss you, sweetheart." Natsuki whispered sincerely. "I really miss you. When will you be home?"

_Ara! She called me sweetheart! My adorable Natsuki knows just how to make me smile! _Shizuru blushed upon hearing those words. In their seven years of relationship, Natsuki rarely expressed endearment towards her. She usually settled on calling her Shizuru or Shiz. And she got no problems with that at all. But from time to time, it would be nice to hear Natsuki addressing her affectionately.

"Ara, my poor baby… Don't worry I'll wrap up my work quickly and should probably be home in about three hours." The brunette said as she looked on her wristwatch. "Or if you want, you can meet me in my office and we can eat breakfast at Mai's 24/7 diner?"

"Err…" Natsuki scratched her cheek. "Sorry Shiz, I'm not in the mood to go out and drive around today… playing some video games…" she lied smoothly.

Shizuru hid her disappointment. She was actually hoping Natsuki would pick her up so she could spend time with her soon. Apparently, video game was more important for the younger woman than seeing her.

"Ara, I understand Natsuki." Shizuru said patiently. "I'll see you home then, yes?"

"Yeah, I'll see you soon Shiz." Natsuki replied.

Shizuru could feel that their conversation would soon be ending and Natsuki was about to drop the call when she called her. "Natsuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you forgetting anything?" Shizuru asked, her accent getting more pronounced whenever she was anxious.

Natsuki smirked. She knew that Shizuru was waiting for her to greet her happy birthday. And it would be a dead giveaway if she greeted her and yet didn't feel like going out. Shizuru was smart. She would instantly know that they had prepared something for her at home. Again, she had to lie.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Natsuki asked not-so-innocently. "Is there something wrong?"

Shizuru again felt frustrated. _How could you forget today is my birthday Natsuki? Meanie! _She thought glumly. Nonetheless, despite her frustration, she forced herself to be happy that she would soon see Natsuki at home. It was such a long, tiring day for her after all.

She cleared her throat. "Ara, it was nothing important. Do not worry about it, my baby." She lightly answered.

_Already practicing your lies on her? _

A dark voice rang in her mind and Natsuki suddenly felt guilty. All the sad thoughts instantly overwhelmed her and she bit her lips to stifle herself from crying loudly. Tears flooded her vision as she stared at the ceiling blankly. She brought her right hand over her eyes shielding them from the blinding lights coming from the rays of the sun streaming through the windows. Her other hand trembled as she continued to hold the phone in her ear.

"I love you Natsuki." Shizuru said happily.

"I…" Natsuki's voice faltered. Shizuru heard it – the change in Natsuki's voice. It was as if she was crying. She became alarmed.

"N-Natsuki?" She asked worriedly as she pressed the phone closer to her ear as if doing so would let her hear more of Natsuki's voice. "Are you okay, baby? You're not crying, are you?"

Natsuki swallowed hard and forced herself to calm down. She should not worry Shizuru like this. It would ruin their surprise party for her. It felt like forever as Shizuru waited when it was only a good few seconds when Natsuki finally responded.

"Who says I'm crying over a losing video game?" It was a lame one but hey, she did cry angrily when there was a power outage and she hadn't saved the progress in a game that she spent so many hours with. Hopefully, the brunette would bite that lame excuse.

Shizuru doubted it initially but then remembered that one time Natsuki did cry and was in a bad mood all day. She had to cancel all her plans that day to cheer her broken-hearted puppy. She recalled having ordered her favorite mayonnaise to suppress Natsuki's tantrums. And it actually worked.

"Stupid game." Shizuru heard Natsuki muttered annoyingly over the phone and she felt relieved. Natsuki must have lost a game badly and good thing that Shizuru just knew exactly what to do.

"Ara, my Natsuki. I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't cry, my baby." Shizuru spoke soothingly. "Once I'm home I'll prepare some sandwich for you with your favorite mayo on it. Maybe my sandwich is all you need to win this game, yes?" Shizuru said sweetly.

Tears again stung her eyes the more she listened to Shizuru. Every lies she gave to her were received and reciprocated with love. _Shoot Natsuki, you are such an ass. Mai is right. How could I do this to Shizuru? She had done nothing but give me love and affection in exchange for my lies and deception. Good thing I will be out of her life soon. Just bear with me for a little longer Shizuru. Bear with my lies for few more days. It'll be over soon. _

"I love you, Natsuki." Shizuru again repeated.

Natsuki knew that Shizuru was waiting for her to speak those words too. And against her better judgment, she caved in. "I-I love you… so much Shizuru." Her deep husky voice sounded gruff as she choke back her tears.

_I love you forever Shizuru. Even when I am gone from your life, I will love you endlessly. Even when you fall in love with someone else and forget about me, I'll never forget about you. Even with my last dying breath, your name would be the last thing I'll ever say. Even when I become nothing but dust, my heart only belongs to you. I'm glad you have come to my life. I'm grateful to you because you complete me, Shizuru._

And as Shizuru dropped the call, Shizuru couldn't wait to be with Natsuki. She would hold her in her arms tightly and shower her with kisses. It would be the best medicine for her as she pulled an all-nighter to finish all her pending workloads. Natsuki was like a drug to her – addicting and dangerously tempting. Just thinking of the raven-haired beauty brought a tingling sensation in her heart. She would soon see the love of her life. _Oh Natsuki._

-x-

After two hours, Mai, Mikoto, Nao, Aoi and Chie had finally arrived. As requested by Natsuki, Chie had brought a bouquet of lovely white roses while Aoi held a box full of chocolates. Mai carried a big lunch box divided into four sections – sushi rolls, fried pork and chicken meats, veggies and some delicious looking desserts. Mikoto was carrying a pot full of miso soup. Nao brought some expensive-looking booze.

Natsuki was surprised to see them all in a good mood. Well, except for Mai who knew the truth. She wondered what the orange-haired woman had told all of them that they weren't even bombarding her with questions about what happened yesterday. Apparently, whatever lies Mai had said must be convincing enough to be accepted by everyone without questions. She glanced at Mai who gave her a meaningful look as if saying 'I got it covered, just as you requested'. She could only offer her a weak smile as she nodded her head gratefully.

Chie slowly circled Natsuki in a mischievous sort of way while Nao clapped Natsuki's shoulder with her free hand. Aoi smirked significantly as her blue eyes twinkled in delight. Mikoto on the other hand gave her a thumbs up. Natsuki raised her eyebrows at all of them.

_Okay, this is definitely weird. _Natsuki again turned her head to Mai who simply shrugged as if saying 'this is the best I can do for you, so suck it up'.

"So…" Chie started as she put down the flowers on the countertop then looked back at Natsuki. "Spill it." She grinned from ear to ear. "How many times in a day?"

"Spill what?" She looked confused.

"Come on mutt!" Nao rolled her eyes. "We heard a bit from Mai. But now, we want to hear the _uncut _version. Go on, entertain us." She said as she sat on the couch and crossed her leg while her lime green eyes settled amusingly at Natsuki.

"Really, I have no idea what you guys are talking about." Natsuki said. Actually, she hadn't a clue what Mai had told them.

Aoi suddenly coughed that sounded like 'excuses' causing everyone to laugh heartily. After Mikoto dropped the pot soup in the kitchen, she went to Natsuki and tap her arm while grinning. "It's okay really. You don't have to be shy."

Natsuki's eyebrows furrowed into one single line. She again glanced back at Mai helplessly. _Mai, what did you even say to them? _

Mai sighed loudly. "I just relayed to them what the doctor had said."

"And that is?" Natsuki further probed.

Nao was never known for her patience. She groaned irritatingly. "That you are an anemic mutt but you still keep on _making love_ with Shizuru every single day! Geez, no wonder you'll collapse!"

"Must be paradise for Natsuki to be a masochist!" Chie butted in as she fixed her glasses on her face. "Guilty pleasure, hey?" She winked at Natsuki.

Natsuki's jaw dropped and she instantly turned bright red. Her emerald eyes narrowed at Mai accusingly. _Really Mai? _

Mai's eyes bulged. "Hey, I only said that you are anemic that is why you are feeling weak and faintish!"

Aoi giggled. "And _we _just connected the dots." She showed her left index finger connecting to her right index finger forming one straight line.

"I admire your bravado, Natsuki!" Chie hooted.

"RESPECT!" Mikoto mock-saluted as she shouted mischievously then gave high five to a laughing Chie.

Natsuki shook her head in disbelief. "Idiots!" She hissed under her breath as she glared at each one in turn.

Well, it was actually a good development. Better than expected in Natsuki's opinion. Mai did a great job coming up with that anemia to divert them away from the truth. The symptoms of anemia were surprisingly similar as her cardiomyopathy and it was no wonder that everyone accepted Mai's words as the truth. She felt guilty for making Mai lie to everyone but at the same time, she was very much grateful. _Yes, it is better this way. _

They kept on nagging a blushing Natsuki until Mai hushed them all pointing at her wristwatch and telling everyone to get back to work. The raven-haired beauty again nodded gratefully at Mai's direction lest she'd die of embarrassment from their continuous teasing. In twenty minutes, Shizuru would be arriving.

-x-

Shizuru breathed deeply as her conference call finally finished. She was beyond exhausted. She couldn't believe she had to work on her birthday! There had been an urgent board meeting and she was the CEO so it was inevitable. And as she closed her crimson eyes, a certain emerald-eyed woman popped in her mind. _I will see you soon, my Natsuki. I can't wait to be with you. _She again giggled as she remembered Natsuki calling her sweetheart. It was more than enough to make her fall in love with Natsuki all over again. It was a good feeling. No, it was a _great _feeling – to love and be loved by the person she most treasured.

Although she was disappointed Natsuki forgot it was her birthday today, Natsuki calling her sweetheart still made her day. Yes, these were just little things that maybe Natsuki didn't even realize herself, but these simple affections from Natsuki could make Shizuru smile throughout the day no matter how tired and weary she was.

She never thought it was ever possible that they would become a couple. Back then, she was already contented being _just_ a best friend to Natsuki. Being with her, talking to her, laughing and then arguing with her, it was enough for Shizuru. But as time passed by, her love for Natsuki kept on growing to the point it was hard to suppress her true feelings. Good thing Shizuru was the master of her emotions and she could hide her real self under her beautiful façade.

Not until that one memorable night. They were playing truth or dare. Natsuki bravely chose dare. And with Nao in the picture, she challenged Natsuki in a kissing game. Her heart stopped when an embarrassed Natsuki sat in front of her. She kind of expected that Natsuki would choose her but she never really gave it much thought until that moment that her Natsuki was _really_ right in front of her. In fact, she thought that Natsuki would back out and choose truth instead. Oh well, Shizuru was not one to complain!

As Natsuki shut her eyes and slowly inched her face towards her, Shizuru's crimson eyes widened for a second as it dawned on her that Natsuki would really kiss her. Her heart started beating fast as she watched Natsuki getting closer by the second. She glanced at those full red lips coming her way – those lips she secretly wished to taste, those lips she secretly hope to feel, that mouth she secretly crave to explore.

And as Natsuki's lips crushed on hers, Shizuru's mind short-circuited as it focused on nothing but those lips touching hers. _Ara, how soft are your lips Natsuki, how luscious they actually taste. _Initially, Natsuki's kiss was shy and sloppy. Well, Shizuru must have figured out it was the younger woman's first kiss given the inexperienced way she the kissed her. Eventually, her kisses became more curious and bolder as she pulled the brunette closer and kissed her hungrily. As if that wasn't enough, Natsuki was pushing her limit when her tongue forced its way inside Shizuru's mouth.

Natsuki exploring her mouth was the last straw for Shizuru as she gave in to her real feelings for the younger woman. Throwing caution to the wind, she closed her crimson eyes and kissed her back with as much passion. Oh how she wished time would freeze this moment as the brunette knew that once they pulled away from each other, this wonderful dream would be over. So while she could, she would ingrain this feeling, this moment, this one memorable night in her heart.

The need to breathe forced the two to break apart from each other signaling the end of Shizuru's fairy tale fantasy. However, the look that Natsuki was giving her sent tingles in her heart as the younger woman leaned her forehead on her. _Natsuki? Is it possible you feel the same way I do? _

Just as her hopes were getting up, it was instantly crushed when Natsuki said they were not dating. _Shizuru is my best friend. There's no way we are… together._

There was a flicker of sadness in those crimson eyes as she stared at Natsuki for a brief second. The latter glanced her way just enough to see that unexplainable look in the brunette's face before Shizuru completed masked them in her smile. _Shizuru, get ahold of yourself! Just as Natsuki had clearly said, there's no way… so stop holding on to your stupid dreams. The kiss was nothing more than just a game. It's just a dare. It meant nothing. _

Yes, Shizuru again hid under her mighty façade. But Natsuki had already scratched that strong foundation when she kissed her, leaving a dent in that unbreakable mask. So how the heck should she get over it that easily when she had already touched, tasted and felt those lips of the one she loved the most? _I needed to know. For one last time, I needed a confirmation of what we really are, Natsuki. Who am I to you? Am I just your best friend? Or are we more than that? _

Bracing herself, she asked her quietly. _'Tell me honestly, would you like me to forget about the kiss?' _And she had regretted it deeply when Natsuki answered yes and reiterated that the kiss was just a dare. It broke her heart hearing those words that tears stung her eyes as she moved away from Natsuki. But at the last second, her brain froze and her heart thumped erratically when their lips met again and she was pinned in between Natsuki's strong arms. This time Natsuki's kiss was sensual and demanding that she moaned softly into that kiss. Shizuru then turned bright red as Natsuki spoke the words she thought she could only hear in her wildest dreams – _Damn it Shizuru, I love you. I really do._

It was truly nostalgic as Shizuru reminisced that one memorable night because _that_ moment was where it all started. Since then, Natsuki had become such a good kisser that the brunette couldn't get enough of it. As she stood up and headed out of her office, she reminded herself that she would buy Natsuki her favorite mayo before heading home. _My Natsuki, you should shower me with your tenderly kisses as your way of saying thank you! And I'll make sure you make it up to me for forgetting my birthday! Fufufu. _

After a short while, Shizuru got out of the elevator on the seventh floor and headed to their unit. As she pushed open the door, it was eerily quiet and dark that she had to adjust her eyes so she could roam them on the dark interior of their living room. Confusion dawned on her as Natsuki was supposed to be home given that the latter didn't even want to drive or go out.

Her hand blindly searched on the wall to flick on the light when a movement along the kitchen caught her attention. Quickly turning on the light, her crimson eyes went wide and her hand flew to her mouth to cover her shock when she saw a charming Natsuki in her white tee holding a bouquet of white roses.

Natsuki grinned mischievously at her seeing her surprised expression and then she started singing a slow happy birthday song as she went towards Shizuru. There was a banner on the wall saying 'Happy Birthday, Shizuru. I love you' that glowed in glittering red. Colorful balloons were scattered on the floor. On the far right stood a projector screen while on the left side stood a large wooden table filled with delectable food and desserts.

Chie appeared after Natsuki holding a handheld camera as she took a video of the couple. Mai and Mikoto came out from the kitchen holding similar banner as the one on the wall while Aoi and Nao was carrying a life-sized fluffy brown teddy bear.

Shizuru was extremely caught off-guard with the surprise party. She really thought that Natsuki had totally forgotten her birthday as she seemed nonchalant and busy with her videogames. Glancing around the living room, she knew that all of them must have worked so hard to put up all these decorations and prepare all the food on the table. Organizing a surprise party required time, effort and resources to make it successful.

And seeing all her friends gathered around together with her most precious Natsuki brought tears of happiness in her crimson eyes. She had become so speechless that she had to fan herself with her hand to get over the shock. Everybody was looking at her with big smiles on their faces. The Oddball's mission was a success seeing Shizuru so happy while crying.

Natsuki stood in front of her as she finished singing happy birthday. She took Shizuru's hand and kissed it without breaking eye contact with her. The others were loudly cheering in the background, bringing warm smiles to the blushing couple. Natsuki then handed the white roses to Shizuru who accepted it gracefully. The raven-haired woman then wiped away those tears with her thumb as she gently tucked some stray strands of hair behind the brunette's ears.

"Happy Birthday, my love." Natsuki shyly said as she placed a soft kiss on Shizuru's lips. Again, everybody hooted noisily as they teased both of them.

Shizuru nodded gratefully at everyone then glanced at Natsuki lovingly. "Ara, thank you, my sweet darling Natsuki." She giggled softly when Natsuki turned bright red with the endearment. "You really surprised me there. I really thought you have forgotten."

Natsuki raised her eyebrow in amusement. "How could_ I_ ever forget anything about you?"

It was Shizuru's turn to blush.

"Ho ho! SMOOTH!" Nao loudly banged her hand on the table while the others chuckled.

Chie nodded. "Silver-tongue indeed!"

Natsuki turned around and hissed at them to shut up. She then glanced back at the beaming Shizuru.

"I love you Shiz" She whispered so that only the brunette could hear it. But her friends' radar were actively sensitive that they heard each word the raven-haired beauty had said.

"Aww…" Mai and Aoi both exclaimed.

"Oh no! I'm getting itchy! Help, Mai!" Mikoto pretended to scratch her skin with her hand.

"Same here!" Chie seconded. "Ants everywhere!"

"Geez! Too sweet I feel like puking!" Nao nastily commented.

Natsuki's cheeks flushed. "Shut up idiots!" They all laughed.

Everybody then proceeded towards the wooden table and started digging in Mai's delicious cooking. As they were all seated, some on the couch while others on the kitchen chairs, Chie started playing the video that she and Aoi had made for Shizuru.

Chie made a drum roll with her hand. "Presenting this special video made by yours truly" she winked as she bowed down dramatically. "and her amazing partner-in-crime, Aoi, my love" Aoi giggled and waved at everyone. "…for the one and only… Shizuru Fujino."

Shizuru smiled sweetly in acknowledgment. She was sitting beside Natsuki in the couch as they silently watched the video. It started with unique photos of Shizuru being the Kaichou in their university which proved Chie's cunning and unmatched ability to capture these moments being the gossip queen. And then the pictures of the _Oddballs_ as they significantly became part of Shizuru's life. A group picture with all of them in it – Shizuru was locking arms with a blushing Natsuki, Mikoto was hugging a laughing Mai from behind, Chie and Aoi squeezing a grumpy-looking Nao in between as they posed with peace signs. It then progressed to show all their group outings and night outs including that captured moment where Natsuki kissed Shizuru in that truth or dare game. At the end of the video, they included a footage showing an embarrassed Natsuki walking towards a grinning Shizuru as the latter had asked her to sit on her lap. The video ended showing a wide-eyed Natsuki with her jaw dropping to the floor.

It was worth including that as everyone was laughing like crazy at Natsuki's expense. She glared at Chie who simply shrugged it off as if saying 'An annoyed Natsuki is _fun_. Shizuru loved it anway.' Everybody then finished their food as they prepared for Shizuru to blow the candles and make a birthday wish. However, Aoi interrupted saying that each one should first give their wishes to Shizuru before the latter would make a birthday wish.

Aoi started. "Shizuru, happy birthday. I wish you good health and success in your career. I know your love life is already exciting enough…thanks to Natsuki" She glanced at Natsuki meaningfully who blushed instantly. Shizuru raised her eyebrow amusingly at the exchanged looks the two shared. "…so not much to wish for you on that area. Anyway, stay pretty and amazing! We love you."

Shizuru beamed at her and whispered a 'thank you' while Chie went to the front to give her speech. She fixed her glasses on her nose then looked at Shizuru.

"To this beautiful crimson-eyed lady who stole my heart…"

"Want me to kill you?" Aoi butted in causing everyone but Chie to snicker.

"Err… correction… who stole Natsuki's heart." She winked at the raven-haired beauty before glancing back to the brunette. "Shizuru, I wish that one day you will share the secret how to be boost energy during your wet sessions!"

Everyone erupted in laughter. Natsuki quickly bolted up and threw a pillow at Chie who easily dodged it as she expected the attack. Even Shizuru was wiping some tears in her eyes as she chuckled gracefully. She should have known that nothing good would come out of Chie's mouth.

As they all quieted down, Mikoto was next. "Happy birthday Shizuru. I wish it is always your birthday so I could always taste Mai's food and watch Natsuki do a full-body blush." Again, they all snickered boisterously. Natsuki could only shake her head and roll her eyes as she muttered 'useless idiots' under her breath.

Nao was up. "Shizuru, you and I both know that you owe me big time…." The brunette looked at her amusedly. "…for giving you a puppy." Again, her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "namely Natsuki Kuga. See the tail wagging?" The annoyed raven-haired woman slapped her face with her hand. _Ugh! Why is it all about me when it's Shizuru's birthday!? _"Tame your drooling puppy to know you are its master especially during _bedtime_." She winked at her. "… if you know what I mean."

Chie hollered loudly as she dashed in the front and gave Nao a fist bump. "KILLED IT!"

Next, it was Mai's turn as she slowly stood up then faced the smiling brunette. For Natsuki's sake, she forced herself to look cheerful and bubbly. And darn right, it was freaking hard.

"Shizuru…" Mai choked on her words. She cleared her throat as she tried to smile again and blinked back tears in her eyes. Natsuki bowed her head as she also controlled her flaring emotions. "I know you're a strong woman." They locked eyes with each other. "So I wish that you continue to be stronger whatever comes your way. Remember that we are always here for you. We will be your strength in times of weakness, your source of joy in times of despair and your strong fortress in times of desolation. Again, happy birthday Shizuru."

Shizuru smiled at Mai appreciatively though there was that nagging feeling inside her chest that she could not explain. Maybe she was just tired was what she thought as she now focused her attention to her sweetheart.

It took a while before Natsuki stood up and went in front. As those emerald eyes locked on with her crimson orbs, Shizuru couldn't help but watch her in awe. She just adored this woman so, so much. And every time she looked at her, Natsuki never failed to make her heart flip with happiness. She had this overflowing love in her heart just being with Natsuki.

"Shizuru…" Just like Mai, her voice also faltered. She paused for a while to take a deep breath before continuing. "happy, happy birthday to you. Sorry if I did not greet you earlier on the phone." She grinned. "I just don't want to spoil the surprise for you." She again took another deep breath as she thought of her next words carefully. "I love you so much." Everyone started banging things loudly as they cheered the two. "I really love you with all my heart." Natsuki repeated. "And I wish nothing but _happiness_ to you." Their eyes again met. "Because Shizuru, that is what you _deserve_." She went towards the sitting brunette and gave her a quick kiss.

Shortly thereafter, Mai placed the cake with some lighted candles on a small rectangular foldable table in the center of the room. Shizuru stood up and went behind the foldable table. They all began singing a happy birthday song again. As it ended, Shizuru cleared her throat to speak. Her crimson eyes stared at each one in turn until they finally landed on Natsuki.

"First of all. I want to say thank you to all of you. Ara, very impressive indeed pulling such a stunt without my knowing." She winked at Natsuki playfully. "And as for my wish," she glanced at the little candles on her chocolate cake. "…before the candles burn my cake." Everybody laughed heartily. She took a deep breath as she thought hard. "Well, to be honest, there is nothing more that I could wish for as I am already surrounded with the people I love and deeply care for." Shizuru looked at them meaningfully as she held back the tears in her eyes. "Having such wonderful friends…" She then gazed at Natsuki and smiled briefly. "…and the love of my life celebrating my birthday with me here today, what else could I ask for?" The brunette again took a deep breath. "Thank you. This is indeed the best birthday celebration in my life." Crimson orbs locked on with intense emerald eyes. "My Natsuki. Thank you, baby. I love you so much."

Upon hearing those words, Natsuki eventually relented to her emotions as she dashed towards the brunette. She cupped her cheeks, closed her eyes and kissed her so passionately. _Shizuru, I love you. I love you. I love you. Please forgive me. I love you…goodbye… _Tears streamed down her emerald eyes as she kissed her as if she was already giving Shizuru her final kiss and bidding her last goodbye.

Shizuru on the other hand felt extremely pleased with Natsuki's lips pressed against her. The moment their lips met, her crimson eyes automatically shut close savoring the younger woman's presence. Oh how she deeply missed this woman in her arms. How she craved to taste her, touch her, feel her. Being with Natsuki, everything just felt _perfect_. _Natsuki, I love you. Thank you for coming into my life. I know I'll never love this way again because Natsuki, you are the only one for me. I really love you, my Natsuki. You are the best birthday gift I'll ever have. _

It felt perfect, as if nothing could ever go wrong. If only… if only…

-x-

A/N: As always, thank you for the follows and favorites. As for the reviews, thank you even more! Glad to get a glimpse of how my readers think of my story. So allow me to mention a few, At Hookedonreading, you never fail to make me smile with your generous reviews and will try (no promises) to update the other stories, yes? At ShizNation, I couldn't agree more because even Natsuki felt the same way you exactly described her, a self-centered one at that. Lastly, At ShizNat14, Ha! you are right, I never thought my stories would actually make someone happy! So yes, I love you too. *wink *wink. LOL! HAHA! Again, thank you for making me feel writing fics is not a waste of time.

A/N2: Secondly, down below is a 'deleted scene' which meant the below is not part of the original story plot, thus, so-called 'deleted scene'. I felt bad just deleting them after typing so long, so I just posted it here as such. Again take note, this is not part of the original story plot above. Read at your own risk.

**DELETED SCENE**

In few hours, Mai, Mikoto, Nao, Aoi and Chie had finally arrived. As requested by Natsuki, Chie had brought a bouquet of lovely white roses while Aoi held a box full of chocolates. Mai carried a big box divided into four sections – sushi rolls, fried pork and chicken meats, veggies and some delicious looking desserts. Mikoto was carrying a pot full of miso soup. Nao brought some expensive-looking booze.

They were nagging Mai when Natsuki opened the door. Apparently, the orange-haired woman hadn't said a word about what the doctor had said as well as what she and Natsuki had discussed. Her lips were sealed just like how Natsuki wanted it to be. As soon as all eyes were on Natsuki, everyone except Mai started bombarding her with their questions.

"Oi Natsuki, I demand you to answer me with nothing but the truth!" Chie declared with a straight face as she pointed her index finger at the raven-haired beauty.

Mikoto loudly dropped the pot soup on the floor as she also pointed at Natsuki. "Yeah. Speak now or you'll regret it!"

Natsuki raised her eyebrow at the two. They looked dead serious but their antics never failed to show up that she didn't know if she were to laugh or cry. Mai sighed as she made her way inside towards the kitchen unloading the heavy box of food she was holding. And as she passed by Natsuki, she gave her a meaningful look as if saying 'just like how you wanted, no one knows the truth'.

Natsuki felt bad that Mai was struggling to keep her silence because it was her plea. Despite Mai's contradiction, it was Natsuki's dying wish which was why Mai had no choice but to abide by it. Her attention again focused on four pair of eyes curiously waiting for her to speak.

She felt a comforting hand in her arm. As she looked up, it was Aoi's whose eyes were full of both sadness and worry. "Really Natsuki, what is happening? We're so worried about you."

Even though Nao was silent, her lime green eyes seemed bothered and unfocused. It was not surprising given yesterday's event. Natsuki was free falling against her own will. She thought that had she not shouted, Natsuki would have really fallen into the hard ground and she would have been seriously injured. She knew something was happening to Natsuki and no one seemed to know what it was. Maybe except for Mai who had volunteered to stay behind. But she was not speaking up for crying out loud!

Time and again, Natsuki had to lie. She winced internally. _How many lies had I told already in just one day? How many more lies do I have to speak up to cover the truth? Really Natsuki, keep it up. You're doing a good job of becoming the worst person ever. Hang in there. This is your choice. So suck it up. _

Bracing herself for another deception, she averted her eyes away from them. _Eyes don't lie. _Whether that saying was true or not, she wouldn't risk it. She had to look away just in case they could detect her lying through her eyes. "I'm fine, just overfatigue I guess." She answered.

Of course, no one was buying that. They all knew it was BS. Frustration crept on their faces as they could not get a decent answer from both Mai and Natsuki herself. Something was up and they weren't telling a thing!

Nao was never known for her patience. She put down the liquor bottles on the coffee table then marched swiftly to Natsuki. Everyone was surprised when she violently pushed Natsuki on the wall then grabbed her by the shirt so that their faces were inches from each other. Chie and Mikoto wanted to break them apart but one look from Nao stopped them from doing otherwise. Her lime green eyes were looking murderous as they focused at those shocked emerald eyes.

"Damn it Natsuki! Either you are blind or plain stupid." Nao spat harshly. "But for your information, we are _freaking_ worried about you!" Natsuki flinched.

"Yes, we went home because Mai wanted us to get some rest and your apartment couldn't accommodate all of us. But we are _all_ restless just thinking of what is happening to you. Every hour or so, each of us would message in a group chat wondering if there is any news about you. We are hoping that either Mai or you would keep us updated. But guess what!?" Nao scoffed. "Nothing! There was nothing. No news whatsoever about you."

Mai could hear the redhead's harsh words from the kitchen and she hadn't realized that tears were falling down on the cold hard floor. She was itching to tell them the truth. She wanted to. But she couldn't. She was helplessly bound by Natsuki's wish. And now, her conscience was eating her up as she listened to Nao.

Natsuki felt her world spinning wildly. _Why do I have a feeling that this has happened already? Ah yes_, _déjà vu. That's right. Back then was with Mai. And now, it was with Nao. When will I stop hurting the people I care for? _

Nao shoved her again hard on the wall. Pain would have registered in her body had she not been so occupied in thinking what to say. "Answer me, Natsuki." She snapped from her thoughts when she thought she heard Nao's voice cracking. As her emerald eyes focused on Nao, those lime green eyes were full of tears unabashedly running down her cheeks. "What is the truth?"

Even Aoi and Mikoto started whimpering softly. Chie silently wiped a lonely tear in her eye as she put a hand on Aoi's shoulder. Mai couldn't even bring herself to come to Natsuki's rescue as she fully understood where Nao was coming from. They _deserved _the truth. And yet, she couldn't even bring herself to defy Natsuki's wish.

As Natsuki watched them all in agony, she gritted her teeth angrily as the floodgates opened and her vision turned blurry. This was not what she wanted. All she wished for was to spare each of them from the pain of knowing the truth. So why was this happening to her? Why was everyone suffering because of her?

She collapsed on the floor as her vision suddenly turned dark and the only word that rang in her ears as she lost consciousness was her name uttered anxiously by her friends. _Damn it Natsuki. You did nothing but hurt everyone you love. _

-x-

A/N: Yeah, the deleted scene is a bit dark and I do not want Shizuru's birthday to be celebrated gloomily. I love Shizuru and I want to give her the best birthday celebration. Next chapter, The truth. I wonder what would happen once Shizuru knows the truth.

-x-


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